Monday, June 12, 2017

Repeat Performance

There are times when you need to repeat yourself.

Sometimes you need to repeat your order in a loud restaurant.

Sometimes you need to tell an unruly child to go to bed for the twelfth time.

And sometimes you need to re-tell a story.

That's what I'm doing this week.

My Tiny House Romance, Love Shack, is live in ebook form again.

Grab your copy at AMAZON, BARNES & NOBLE, KOBO, and iBOOKS.

I had fun taking the forced proximity trope to the next level when my hero and heroine by shoving them into a home that clocks in at just over two hundred square feet.

Wild love-making in a tight galley kitchen can get a little cramped for our reluctant couple, but you'll have to check out the story to find out how they make it work.

And the HEA for them is one of the favorites I've ever written.

You can get your own copy now!

If you've read my tiny romance and enjoyed it, make sure to tell a friend it's back again. This is the same fun story back again for sale.

Sometimes it's repeat performance time. And I decided to start small...no...tiny.

~Roxy

To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at RoxyRocksMe.com






Monday, June 5, 2017

What's better than free? The ULTIMATE giveaway post.

So this blog is for funny or sexy posts, or funny and sexy posts. But for some reason, every time I'm trying to think of a topic for posting here, I happen to also be putting together some sort of giveaway. My brain is stuck on giveaways, not what I should be posting.

Giveaways aren't funny and sexy.

But wait--they are fun. So all I need to do is make giveaways sexy...

I know! How about giveaways with sexy guy pics?? Huh, huh? (I think I'm onto something here, lol.)

Let's give it a try.

Enter here!
Kindle Fire, paperbacks, and more. If you love contemporary romance, this is the giveaway for you.

And the "Enter here" just screams sex pun. Amma right?









See More
Want a hot calendar or free ebooks? Check out the Billionaire Ever After preorder info and a get a bunch of cool thank yous!

Yeah, I know I'd sure like to See More. Heh.









Take a peek
Five winners! My June ebook Grab-Bag Giveaway featires Billionaire Ever After authors. Five lucky winners will get a pick from this grab bag of great ebooks.

Who wouldn't like a pick of his...I mean my grab bag? (Or just a grab of his hmmm...?)




What do you think? Two thumbs down? Or is guys-and-giveaways the new peanut butter and chocolate deluxe?

Monday, May 29, 2017

Excuse me.

I have all the excuses. The best excuses. No one makes excuses better than I do.

My excuses can elicit sympathy, pity, perhaps a little disbelief at times, but shit...if you don't want to be a dick, you're most likely going to commiserate with me anyway.

I listened to a fabulous podcast by Sarah Werner about excuses a while back. I highly recommend her whole podcast to writers, but this one hit me in the procrastination bone.

(Find the episode I'm talking about HERE.)

The part of her episode that spoke to me most was looking at your reasons for not writing and deciphering if they were excuses or real legitimate reasons for not writing.

And while the podcast is devoted to writing as a craft and making time for your writing on the daily, this episode in particular could be used in any aspect of your life you're putting off.

So I thought I'd list my top three excuses for not writing everyday, and bust them open.

1.  I'm tired. No shit. We're all tired. Life is hard. They make coffee for that. And if I can watch YouTube, I'm not too tired to write. I could also go to bed earlier. Because I'm an adult and I have control of this.

2.  I'm not inspired. So? The best ideas I have had, have come from getting the crap out of my fingers first. I know this. Sitting my ass down and writing is what gets the inspiration flowing. My muse can't show up while I'm dancing in the kitchen to Bruno Mars. (Although he is sexy as hell, and I'm listening to his music as I type this.) Not feeling inspired before writing is an excuse. Can't get the water flowing until you turn on the faucet.

3.  Everything I'm writing sucks. This? This here? This is fear. Something I had to decide when I sent in my first manuscript was to get over the fear of failure. You know how to get better at something? Practice. Research, classes, reading books on craft...all these things are great. But only if you are doing them while writing. So when I get to the point where I want to stop because I'm sure everything I'm writing, and everything I've ever written is a huge pile of garbage, (and we've ALL been there) I still open my laptop. I'll write until I get past the crap and get the good stuff out.


Of course I always have the old stand-by of dirty dishes and laundry, and all the other various adulting things I have on my plate, but those are just as easy to debunk.

What are your excuses?

I didn't have time this morning to write a blog. I have to be at work in an hour. Huh...guess I got past my first excuse of the day. ;)

~Roxy


To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at 
RoxyRocksMe.com

Monday, May 22, 2017

When you have to start all over...

Once upon a time I had 8 books (full-length, novellas, and shorts) published and out alive in the world.

I had a publisher I loved, and I got to talk with readers about my stories.

Well...my publisher closed.

Damn. But it was okay, because I had my books. Then I decided to try and gain traction with some bundles...

...that crashed and burned due to unforeseen circumstances.

Which meant I had NADDA.





After a lot (and I mean a LOT) of cursing, and kermit flailing around, I realized I have an opportunity to put these books out exactly as I want them. Market them exactly as I want, and own all of it myself.

They say you should start small. So...I figured I'd start TINY. I've got the ebook for Love Shack locked, loaded and ready to re-release all over the interwebs on June 6th.

Available for Pre-Order on Amazon, iBooks, Barnes & Noble, and KOBO

And you know what? I'm just as nervous as I was releasing it the first time!! How? How is that a thing? More seasoned writers can chime in here, but my heart is trying to crawl out of my throat, and I think I should get a pass from the nerves since this is the second time.

My obsession with Tiny Houses and all the imagery/reality TV blended with my adoration of the close proximity trope in this book where a banker and minimalist meet each other in the middle of a crazy idea.

And yes. I'm nervous, but I'm also excited. I'm trying to do one new thing in the publishing process with each book I re-release. I'm learning all the things, and working toward that hybrid author status I'd dreamed of. I'm just working from the self-pub side first this round. 

They say you should always do the thing that scares you the most, well...come along on my "tiny" terrifying journey. 

I love this book, and I hope you'll all give it a chance. 

What are you doing to chase your own dreams today?

~Roxy

To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at RoxyRocksMe.com

Monday, May 15, 2017

Cheap Date with Dani Morgan! (And wine)

This bottle was picked out for my by the fabu Dani Morgan. (Who needs to get her story finished… Yeah. I called you out. ;p)

"Aconga" was the result of a night out with friends. It was $3.99 on sale at the nearby Kroger. It may have been picked 90% on the packaging. Because really…this thing looks a little like a filigree gun barrel. With the black bottle and seal, it really has a badass vibe.

Hubby saw me taking pictures of the bottle and grimaced. “Am I going to have to taste it?”

I wasn’t sure I was going to make him, but then he asked if he was an official part of the Cheap Date review and smiled. Awww. He feels included. (Still won’t read a thing I write, but hey…at least the man will drink with me.)


FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Is it sad that even all these years after college, one of the first things I look at is the percentage of alcohol? 

You’d understand after the helacious harry buffalo we made. That sucker was potent.

But the Aconga isn’t like the Everclear we used in college (thank god.) This wine is 13% alcohol.

The back of the bottle reads “An ancient Incan word meaning “Stone Sentinel”, Aconcagua is the highest mountain in the Americas, towering over Mendoza. It is this great mountain’s name that inspired “Aconga,” A symbol of grandeur and the celebration of a land steeped in history. Argentina, known as the land of silver, embraces artisans well known for their unparalleled silver craftsmanship.”

Huh. Who says alcohol makes you stupid? This wine just taught me something. And I feel mildly proud of myself for catching onto the silver link. *pats self on back*

There isn’t a whole lot of sweet/dry info on it, and despite the very long flavor description, “soft and supple” doesn’t tell me much.

We’ll just have to test it out. At least, I learned the where the highest mountain in the Americas is!



I have learned something through this whole cheap date process. If you have a foil seal over the cork, there is no need to take it off before putting the corkscrew in. The cork will usually break the seal when you yank that bad boy out. Then I just peel back the foil until it pours without spilling everywhere. I’ve only dropped a few pieces of the seal into the wine. It didn’t kill me. Think of it like finding the wishbone. Make it a game!

Well…look at that. The cork has a map on it, highlighting Argentina. This wine is teaching us all kinds of things!




THE SMELL

Definitely more than fruit here. This has a few different flavors going on. It’s got a spicy scent that reminds me of either coffee or chocolate, along with dark tart berries. I’m down.

THE POUR

A few bubbles collected at the top as I poured but quickly dissipated. It’s a deep ruby color and hugs the glass as I swirl it. A couple little pockmarks interrupt the smooth flow of the drag on the glass, but not too much.

Now that it’s in the glass, the smell is all smoke and spice. I can smell very little fruit.
 

FIRST SIP

Oooh. That’s different. It’s not sweet, but it’s got a soft tart flavor that I can’t quite place. The wine coats my mouth and has a fantastic warmth to the drink.

The bottle recommends this be paired with beef or red sauce on pasta. It reminds me of eating at an Italian restaurant where you order the red because that’s the house wine and the only one under $10 a glass.

I can also smell it without another sip. This stuff invaded my sinus cavity. Good thing I already ate, because I doubt this would pair well with McDonalds.


HUBBY VERDICT

I woke him up to make him take a sip. I’m an awesome wife.

Him: “It tastes like fermented grapes.”

Me: *eyeroll*

Him: “It’s more bland, I guess, but it’s not sweet, so eh?”

Me: “Bland? So if someone put it in front of you for free would you drink it?”

Him: “If there was no alternative, yes.”

FINAL VERDICT

I get what they mean by the word “soft” now. It’s not super dry, and it’s not super sweet. This is a wine that would go well with dinner. Not so much with a chocolate mousse.

It’s something to sip while writing or watching a movie, and at $4, I can see myself buying this again.

Two wino thumbs up.

And it taught me something! If I start buying wines from around the world that teach me about the place they are from, imagine how smart I could be in a year.

Furthering my education one bottle at a time.

Not bad for a cheap date. 

 ~Roxy

Monday, May 1, 2017

Pec or chest? Bicep or Biceps? And just what the heck *is* a trapezius?

Capcom's Human Anatomical Reference for artists
Steamy romance isn't as easy to write as some folks think. You have to be part doctor, part wordsmith, part matchmaker--and still love to put your couple through hell before they get their heaven, lol. But the biggest challenge is making detailed body descriptions both easy to understand and sexy.

Here's an example.

Biting Nixie by Mary Hughes – Smoldering hot vampire alert
     In the center of the room, naked to the waist, was Julian Emerson.
     He stood like some latter-day Goliath, his fists raised over his head. Muscles bunched and strained in his arms and chest. Loose black trousers hung low on lean hips. He slid one bare foot out, legs bent. Crossed powerful wrists in front of him. Pivoted and punched both arms up in a fluid harmony of motion.
     My breath punched out as well, like I’d been hit by a truck. Julian’s body was beyond gorgeous. His abs were cut like diamonds, his chest was chiseled marble. He turned and his back…stars above. His back made me want to wrap my thighs around him and ride him like a horse.
     Twin wings of pure, hard muscle flared from his narrow waist to his immense shoulders. I could see individual muscles work as his fists spun out in a ballet of power. A thin sheen of sweat slicked his skin. I wanted to lick it off.
     He turned again and I was overwhelmed by color. Bronze skin, deep bronze nipples. Short black hairs feathered up the center of his abs and over his broad chest. Black glossy hair curled around his ears as his two-hundred-dollar haircut absorbed the sweat of his exertion. Laser-blue eyes, made even more startling by his black sweeping lashes, stared—
     Julian Emerson was staring straight at me.
So what I'm describing here is Julian (a lawyer) doing the second blackbelt form in Taekwondo (Keumgang (금강)) - second dan ("diamond", symbolizing hardness, unbreakable)).  Specifically his pectorals are chiseled marble and his latissimi dorsi (lats) are flaring, and certainly I could have named particular muscles as they contracted and released, but that wasn't the point of this passage. The point was to let the reader experience Nixie's stunned reaction to her first sight of Julian.

In Nixie and Julian's honeymoon story, Biting Christmas (free as part of Biting Holiday Honeymoons on Amazon, Nook, and others) Nixie does mention more specific muscles. She's mounting him in a hot tub.
I grabbed the tops of my husband's broad shoulders. He lifted them slightly, making his trapezius muscles two convenient handholds.
Since Nixie had identified the "tops" of her husband's shoulders, I was pretty confident the reader would know the trapezius was the neck-to-shouldertip muscle without being disrupted from the story.

The more erotic books gained traction in the marketplace, the more confident I was using anatomical terms. In Passion Bites, first published in 2015, Alexis was using pectorals by page 14. Then again, she's a doctor, so she'd know her body parts, lol.
Passion Bites by Mary Hughes – Steamy vampire kiss alert
     I stood, palms on his chest, and pressed flush to him.
     A thin layer of cotton shirt covered hot boulders beneath my palms. I’d touched well-built men, toned muscles and warm skin. I’d never felt a man like him, like scaling bare rock cliffs. A moan tore from my throat.
     His groan twined in. “You taste amazing. All hot and wet.” His head slanted, his tongue beginning to plunge. Angel wings became angel fire.
     I gasped. That driving tongue pistoned with intense male power. His heat rushed in, waking every bit of my mouth. Like biting a cinnamon red-hot, my lips, then my whole body flushed with desire, a flame spiraling through me like a coiled, lit fuse.
     Luke might look like an angel, but his kiss was hotter than sin.
     Hunger rushed through me, dark and powerful. Suddenly I was the most excited I’d been in my life. Ready to hop up on the exam table, pull out the stirrups and play doctor. My fingers curled, digging into iron-hard pectorals, and I swirled my hips against him.
     As if my hip bump was a cue, something unlocked in him. Strong arms wrapped me, pulling me into an inferno of lust. He wasn’t playing anymore. He kissed me in a flurry of lips and teeth and tongue, driving me mad with desire. I pressed into his hard body. He embraced me so tightly, we melded.
     Against my belly, a hard length grew enticingly.
     I was two seconds from suggesting we put the exam table to good use when the door clicked open.
Kotaku.com
The important thing is for the author to know exactly what body part she's picturing, then express it in such a way as to  make it clear without breaking the reader from the story.

So I was pretty chuffed when I found out comic book and video game designers are just as exacting with their art. Check out these amazing drawings from Capcom for warriors.

The reason this whole thing came up is a book up for preorder now.  Bad-Boy Billionaire's Lady is part of Billionaire Ever After, 22 all-new Billionaires ripe for love.

Landon "Rebel" Lovless has a ragged scar on one round, powerful biceps. My darling husband pointed out that's confusing, as it sounds like two muscles. That's the correct term, though, it's a single muscle with two heads. I left it in. Was the right or wrong call? Let me know in the comments below!


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Monday, April 24, 2017

Cate Picked My #CHEAPDATE

This Cheap Date was picked by Cate Beaumont! I was lucky enough to hang out with a lot of my writer friends this past weekend so the next two reviews will be hand-picked for me by some fantastic ladies.

Cate, picked this one because “Momma needs a juice box”. I couldn’t agree more.

**IMPORTANT NOTE** I didn't wear makeup for this. So yes. Those are my bags. I earned those after all my hard work at the con yesterday.

Tonight’s juice is another boxed wine. This time by a company called Provisions. It’s a Cabernet Sauvignon. And the box says it’s “No 3061”. Sooooo…is this a limited edition? It does have cursive on the box.

They don’t even teach that in school anymore. Maybe they’re making it in cursive so the kids can’t read it, and won't know it's booze.

This drink is 12.5% Alcohol, and has red berries on the front of a recyclable package. We paid $4.99 from the nearest Kroger, and it was on sale. According to the box, this thing has three glasses of wine in it. They obviously pour wine very differently than I do.



FIRST SNIFF

The good part? Screw off top. This is a great bit of wine to travel with. No need to worry about finding a cork screw. Although with the folks I visit, that’s not usually a problem.

It smells very strongly of fruit. The side of the box says it’s “generous with blackberry and cassis flavors”. What the hell is cassis? Dammit. Now I have to google shit. This wine might be too damn fancy for me.

Wait…according to Wikipedia, Cassis is a tourist destination. Sooo…my wine tastes like tourists in France? Tourists are covered in sunscreen and sweat. That does not sound appealing. Or do French tourists taste different? Do I want to know what French tourists taste like?

Let’s travel a little further down the google page. We should give page 4 a chance every once in a while, right?

Wait…Cassis is a hashtag? I need to see this. Also…squirrel!

I don’t need to know what this stuff is. I like the idea that I’m drinking tourists. Let’s see how they pour.

FIRST POUR

These little boxes pour in an odd rhythmic piddle. It’s a deep ruby color and has nice drag on the glass. Still smells very strongly of fruit. And apparently French people.


FIRST SIP
NOT as sweet as it smells. Does this mean French tourists aren’t sweet?

But it does have a full-bodied flavor, and has the nice tummy warming slide down my throat. It’s got a great bite to the end of the sip, and I really enjoy it!







HUBBY TEST

Since I’ve had my hubby taste almost every wine, I figured I should have him try them as part of my review process going forward. He's free labor. 

Hubby sniffed the glass three times and grimaced before taking a drink. So basically he was a kid who knew he wasn’t going to like it from the beginning. Punk.

But he did try it and my sweet-drink loving hubby immediately demanded a palate cleanser and guzzled some mountain dew.

So…for my sweet lovers…this is not your jam.

FINAL VERDICT

I really enjoyed this one. And ya know what? Cate wanted me to have a juicebox. So…I’ll have my juicebox. Put this bastard in my lunch any day.

Just pack a straw and you're all set!


Thanks to Cate Beaumont for picking my Cheap Date for tonight, and if you want to enjoy more of her good taste, you can check out her book. Lucky Strike, Book 1 in the Lucky, Kentucky series is available now.

Congrats on the release, my friend. And thanks for momma’s juice box!


To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at RoxyRocksMe.com







Monday, April 3, 2017

Coloring in the lines?

Here's a real April Fools trick on me. As part of the second billionaire set I'm in, I'm required to get a coloring book page made for my story, for a giveaway prize.

I know they want beautiful artwork, so for me "get" translates into "pay someone else to draw it."

I never really got good a coloring in the lines.

Don't get me wrong--I love a well-colored page. My next door neighbor could color dragons and butterflies that looked ready to leap off the page. Those pictures made my heart sing.

Me? As a kid, I was more into scribbling the brightest colors I could in the general direction of the middle. Later, I took to drawing naughty parts on the models, lol.

What about you? Love to color? What are your favorite types pictures to bring to life?


Check out this great set! 7 stories, 99 pennies.
AmazonB&N

Saturday, April 1, 2017

New Line of Books Coming Soon!

Cover Art by Jayne Rylon
I'm super excited to announce a new venture I'm going to be undertaking.

After seeing the success of Adult Versions of Early Reader books like "Go The Fuck To Sleep", I've decided to re-release my books in a classic early reader book format!

I'm super excited to release the R-Rated Simple Language Romances!

Now...these books are definitely not for Children, but rather for the adult who wants to feel the innocence of childhood meshed with the quick read time of picture books.

I'm still looking for an illustrator, but without further ado, I'd like to give you the first installment of the series.

This is "Virgin on Human" in Early Reader format. Enjoy!






See Coral. See Coral clean. See Coral clean the palace. Coral doesn't need sleep. Coral is a robot.

See Quinn. See Quinn dance. See Quinn dance with Coral. Coral likes dancing. Coral meets new friends. Where did her new friends go? Coral decides she likes Quinn best.

Quinn takes Coral back to the palace. Coral's body is happy. Coral takes off her clothes to show Quinn. Quinn doesn't know what to do. Quinn decides to help Coral.

Coral likes Quinn. Quinn likes Coral. They run to the cabin to "play" together. Coral likes to play without clothes.

The DMA catches Coral. Quinn is angry. Quinn rescues Coral from the DMA. 

Quinn was sad before he met Coral. Coral makes Quinn happy again. Coral reminds Quinn being different is okay. They can be different together.

Quinn and Coral live happily ever after.

THE END. 




Well? What do you think? Do you think I've got a hit on my hands? I bet I could have some fun with the art for the Hart Clan too.

Which book should I transcribe next? And should I turn them into audio books? I'd love your feedback!

~Roxy

To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at RoxyRocksMe.com

Monday, March 20, 2017

4 Authors. 7 Stories. Lots of Smexy Pranks for April Fool's Day.






The April Fools For Love Boxset is HERE!







This is the third year we've celebrated April Fool's Day with our blog. And as our thank you to all of you who have hung around with us, the Lusty Linguists grabbed 7 of our April Fool's For Love stories and bundled them together for one great price.


We've partnered with Drakon Press to bring you an Amazon Exclusive bundle.

99 cents gets you over 500 pages of snark, snickers, and spice.

Or if you have Kindle Unlimited, you can read these stories for FREE!

If you've missed some of our stories, now is the time to grab them all for the price of one! Need to check your library? Here are the titles included with this set.

From Roxy Mews

Bottled Up and When the Lights Go Out

From Mary Hughes

Cin Wikkid and Biting Serendipity

From S.L. Carpenter

Toy Story and Fringe Benefits

From Kayleigh Malcolm

Must Love Menage



This Amazon Exclusive deal won't last long. Grab your copy, and gift one to a friend!


Have you read these stories? Did you get any ideas on how to mess with your friends and co-workers?

Tell us your April Fool's Day plans. And if you don't have any plans this April Fool's Day, might we suggest settling in with a good book...or seven. ;)


~Roxy






Monday, March 13, 2017

The bottle is winking at me... #CHEAPDATE

Winking Owl Shiraz 

This, my dear financially strapped lushes, is THE cheapest wine I have tested for my Cheap Date series.

Aldi…the mutha-effing king of cheap booze, has this bottle for an every day price of $2.89 at my local store. (obviously, shit is cheaper in Indiana that the coastal cities. We have no water so we get cheap booze. Priorities.)

The nice thing about Aldi wine…it also has this handy label on the back so we know what the flavor will be like…if it’s sweet or dry…what temperature…

SHIT!

Mother effing shit. This is supposed to be at room temp, and I put the damn thing in my wine fridge again. Shit. I need to stop buying room temperature wines. I’m obviously incapable of having this stuff warm.

Okay. I don’t care. I’m trying it anyway.

Again…there’s no pull tab, twist off cap, or anything like that. Here’s an improviser’s tip. No seal cutter? Put the corkscrew sideways against the underside of the lip of the bottle and stab it over and over.

Step 1. Stab Seal.
Step 2. Peel like it's no big deal.


See? Sure you still could stab yourself, but it’s a smaller point. That means less chance of hitting a major artery, right?



FIRST IMPRESSIONS

There’s a cork. So obviously it’s a quality wine. (Yes. Cork Equals Quality. You know that by now.)

At this point, hubby wakes up from his nap and decides to make a smoothie right where I am working on this blog. He has to argue about which fruit is the smoothie fruit. I guess this gives the wine a chance to get to the right temperature… *grumble*

For real. He interrupted my wine time for fruit.
Okay. The wine is definitely room temp now. How long does it take to make a fucking smoothie?

Anyway….



FIRST POUR

There’s a little bit of bubble action at the top, and the drag on the glass has a few pits in it.

It might be time to be worried. Still not as heinous looking as the sangria though. That shit still haunts me.

The bottle says there should be a “hint of spice”.  It smells really bold to me. Maybe it’s my mayo lifestyle.

Time to try it.



FIRST SIP

This has the warmth in the back of my throat, the hint of fruit and no harsh bite to speak of. It’s like a breath of warm happiness.

This isn’t a gulp wine. It’s more of a laugh with friends while you make dinner kind of wine.

Or in my case, type out your opinion while your hubby completes the final boss fight in Final Fantasy, after munching on carrots and tater tots.




FINAL VERDICT

I’m pouring another glass. I dig it. I think I like the white I tried last time a bit better, but this is a great sipping wine.

Hubby didn’t weigh in on this one. Partly because it’s a dry wine, and mostly because he got in my damn way while making a smoothie.

Thumbs up for the wine. Thumbs down for the smoothie interruptus.
Pouring more!
...lots more.





So far I have come to the conclusion that Aldi is where shit goes down as far as cheap wine. I have also been told Trader Joe's is great, but there's not one terribly close to me. Where else should I go shopping for a deal? Feel free to tweet me your finds @RoxyMews.

Until next bottle...


~Roxy



To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at RoxyRocksMe.com

Monday, March 6, 2017

Dirk Thunderthighs and other character actors

So today (February 27 as I write this) I'm starting a new novella. It's part of a new billionaire anthology, and I'm thinking of also making it part of a series, the first of three billionaire brothers.
 
I think it will have the oldest brother as the hero. He's a reformed bad-boy who wants nothing to do with his father's company.

Now, what can I call him? I look up popular boy names on the Internet. Liam, Mason, Jacob...but I sort of want Our Hero to be GrandFather Name III, and none of those sound appropriately rich, snobby, and nineteen-fifties.

Here's one--Alexander. Alexander Anthony? I like the alliteration, but I'm not convinced. Landon? Landon Loveless, one of the Loveless Billionaire Brothers? Eh, it's a possibility. I'll call him L for now.

When my husband and I brainstorm, he often brings in hero Dirk Thunderthighs. I picture Fabio in the early days. L probably looks more like RDJ or Jason Momoa. In this case, L will do.

So L wants nothing to do with his father's company--until he shows up at the first board meeting after his father's death.

Hmmm...what to call the company? Creative juices flowing, that throws me out for just a moment. Something rich sounding. Something big and run by sharks...nope, I got nothing.

Megamoney Corp. Move on.

Okay, so L swaggers into his first board meeting at Megamoney Corp. Who's at the table beside the craggy old-guard graysuits? I want a heroine who will give him the most grief. Someone rich and beautiful and classy, to automatically get bad-boy L's back up.

Harper? Ava? Mia...no. Harper Riley? Ooh, that sounds like a hacker I can use for book 3. Leah, Aubrey, Grace...closer. She should look like Grace Kelly or Audrey Hepburn.

Elizabeth. That sounds regal. Last name...Rothschild? I'll have to look that up to see how many real people have that name. But it works for now.

So. Elizabeth Rothschild, on the company board, also wants the hero out, because she want to put her ex in place as head, so he can preserve the charities Megamoney Corp finances.

Elizabeth's ex...and here's where my monkey brain kicks in and provides the name Pubic Hair.

Pubic Hair?

Feck, I'm on a roll. Go with it. Pubic Hair is Elizabeth's ex.

So here is a note from my actual brand-new manuscript.
Elizabeth Rothschild: External Goal--get rid of L so her ex, Pubic Hair, can take over. Pubic Hair is her only chance at saving the charities which the elder L instituted.

Maybe it's time for me to switch to decaf.

Monday, February 27, 2017

When a good thing comes to an end...

Quite a few things are going to change on Wednesday. The publisher that brought the Lusty Linguists together will be closing it's doors for good.

Samhain Publishing will cease to exist at the end of this month. 

Two days are all we have left.

This is not a drill, people.




We try and make you smile when you come here, but sometimes some real stuff needs to be explained.

So here's what you need to do if you're a Samhain Pub shopper.

1. DOWNLOAD YOUR LIBRARY

If you have an account with Samhain, and even if you've bought a Samhain Publishing book from other places, download it and back it up. I use Calibre to manage my digital library.

These books and the support are going away on Wednesday. Some of the bigger players like iBooks and Amazon should keep your files for you, but if you're paranoid like me, back that ish up.

2. BUY ANY SERIES BOOKS YOU NEED

Like a lot of publishers, series books are popular at Samhain. If there are a few series that have books out and you haven't grabbed them...Hurry your butt up and buy them now. Make that plastic melt.

The authors are getting their rights back, but reformatting, re-covering, and re-publishing takes a lot of time and money, and most authors don't write as their primary day job. Some books may not even come back. There are thousands of Samhain titles. If you are on the fence about any, grab 'em while you can.





3. STALK THE AUTHORS

Some of us were waiting to get our rights back to continue a series or two. (*cough* me *cough* more Hart Clan *cough*)

So the best way to do that is to find them and figure out what comes next is on social media. They will be announcing new releases and re-releases. Trust me. They want to sell these books again.

For example...

You can like my author FB page... HERE
You can follow my ramblings on Twitter....HERE
You can sign up for my soon-to-be-a-newsletter...HERE
Or you can just hit up my soon to be very naked website...HERE

All authors have these and many more ways you can follow and reach out to them. Newsletters are usually the easiest because the info comes to you, and unlike FB that switches up what you see on your feed, the emails you'll get.


4. FORGIVE US FOR GETTING SENTIMENTAL




Samhain Publishing gave me my first "Yes." They allowed me to work alongside authors I admired and fangirled over. They gave me a sink or swim education that can't be learned in a class or at an event, and I will always be grateful for that. Samhain Publishing was the publisher I wanted. Their funny warnings fit so well with my humor and writing style that I still plan on emulating it as I try my hand at some self-publishing.

It's going to be hard over the next month or so at minimum. For all of us.

If you know an author, send them a virtual hug, or a funny meme, or a LOT of chocolate. Hell, just drop them an email and tell them which Samhain title of theirs is in your re-read pile. It would mean the world to them. Trust me. It can be your good deed. I'm going to start off with some of my own favorites. Let's blow up twitter and FB with #myfavoriteSamhainbook. I won't judge you if you tweet out more than one. ;)

If you are a fellow Samhain author...





~Roxy

To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at RoxyRocksMe.com

Monday, February 20, 2017

Roxy's #CheapDate with a Flirty Bird


I threw away the damn receipt. So I don’t have an exact amount, but I know it was the cheapest bottle I picked up at Aldi. (Less than $4, I think.)

I would wait until I can go back and check the price, but it is National Wine day today according to FB, so I simply can’t put off tasting this any longer. And I’ve been cleaning all day in a house full of men. Things have been seen that can’t be unseen and momma needs a drink.





FIRST IMPRESSIONS

This is called “Flirty Bird”. Which is adorable. I like the name. The label is cute. And it’s wine. We’re in good shape here.

Nice thing about this wine is on the back label (for wine noobs like myself) there are all kinds of little facts. And it tells me if it should be room temp or chilled. Thank goodness. This way we don’t have another BotaBox incident where I have to wait an hour before I can enjoy the booze.

Guess you’re supposed to have one of those fancy ass seal cutters because this sucker doesn’t have a pull tab. 




Eh. I have a knife.

And I didn’t stab myself. Batting 1000 this evening.

This bottle is corked. I’m always amused when the cheapest wines have corks. For some reason I equate corks with quality. The name is even printed on the cork. Fancy pants wine, ya got here, Aldi.

I’m ready though. I remember the last time I had a generic Aldi wine. (Check out that cheap date HERE)
 





THE POUR

Smells nice.

During this time I realize I didn't wash my wine glass from the last cheap date. So I take 5 minutes to unpack a wine glass rather than wash the dirty one.

Don’t judge me.

Wine has a good drag down the glass when I swirl it. I’m pretty sure good wine is supposed to do that.



FIRST SIP

Oh. That’s good.
That’s really good. That’s go stock up and buy more of this ish good.

Fruity taste is playing at the back of my tongue, with enough bite to satisfy my “I don’t want to drink sugar water”ness.

Hubby did his cursory taste test. He grimaced, said it was okay, but it was not sweet. Again, this isn’t a super sweet-lover’s drink. But I like this way way more than the champagne I got from Aldi last week.



FINAL CONCLUSION

Let’s be real. I would say this would be a great bottle to take to a dinner party, but I’m gonna polish this fucker off tonight. This is good.

Buy this. Buy multiple bottles of this. You can feed your wino habit and not go broke. Yum. Also, by the time I got to this point…half the bottle might be gone. 

Seriously. 

Yum.




I have one more Aldi find coming your way for next time. Until then...keep your eye out for a good cheap wine!

~Roxy

 To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at RoxyRocksMe.com