Stereotypical? Probably. Do I give a shit? Not in the least.
I need my coffee in the morning to wake up and get my brain cells sputtering to life. And at the end of the day, when I get that tenth rejection letter, and my house looks like rabid dogs were playing tug with my laundry cart...I need the wine.
There's one problem. I'm a cheapskate. For all my other penny pinchers out there, I decided to take one for the team. I bought this.
I found a display in Aldi that had $3 giant bottles of wine in it. The name of the wine... "Sangria". That was it. That was the brand, type, and flavor. I am always on the lookout for a deal.
How bad could Sangria be, right?
I know. But I bought it anyway to let you come along for the journey.
Here are my thoughts and pics to coordinate.
1. I couldn't open the damn thing. Tried running my nails along the perforation, and nadda. This bottle doesn't want to be opened. I should have taken it as a sign. Instead...I got a knife. Don't worry. This was before drinking.
2. Success! Sort of. I used the knife to score the wrapper and attempted to open the top. This happened...
3. Maybe I should just give up and call this a fail. But my wine glass was empty! I should have stopped here. I'm pretty sure the plastic might have had a better flavor. (foreshadowing...it's not just for novels.)
4. After finally wrangling the bottle open, I was able to pour some in the glass. It was bubbly. And this wasn't a sparkling wine. It also left little dots all over the glass when I swirled it. I'm sure that's fine...
5. It smelled like medicine. And I'm not talking the good medicine. I'm talking the generic, super potent shit we had to choke down as kids. But it was medicine with fruit flavoring, I guess.
6. Fuck this drink. It tasted worse than it smelled. So I threw some fruit in it. Maybe I can make this shit tolerable with fruit. Answer? NOPE.
7. Even my cat is ashamed of me for putting this stuff in my body.
FINAL VERDICT... This was not even worth $3. I threw the rest out.
On the bright side...I'm pretty sure it ate away at the buildup in my drain. Because I felt the burn for the rest of the night.
*Side Note* The strawberries I put in the glass were more expensive than the bottle of wine, so I fished them out in attempt to not waste more money. They weren't half bad. The pineapple I put in with it, however, was something you would feed your worst enemy to make them puke on their new designer shoes.
So there's my first Cheap Date Taste Test! What did you guys think? Would you be interested in more cheap alcohol reviews? Any suggestions of something to try next? Let me know!
Until then, check out some of my books, and mark your calendars for July 9th when Love Shack is released!