Monday, June 29, 2015

What Did You Think I Was Talking About?

With all the news about Gay Rights, Confederate flags, causing such an uproar and all the negative things that have been happening, I was thinking of something positive to talk about.
There has been a lot of news lately that has caused a bunch of peoples opinions to be brought to the forefront. It’s always natural for people to have strong feelings about issues that affect them. Sometimes they have strong opinions on things that don’t.
I won’t talk politics here because I don’t push my own feelings. For me, I was happy for the SCOTUS Ruling on Gay Marriage because of my brother. He would have loved being able to marry the man he spent the majority of his life with.

So I decided to write about something I like...A LOT.
Pussy….I want to write about pussy.
They are so cute and fun to play with.
I look at pictures of pussy all the time. My wife doesn’t always get it but there is nothing as cute as a little pussy all sweet and ready to be cuddled and pet. She says I spend more time looking at pictures of it then playing with them.
Hey, I’m a visual thinker and looking at the pictures reminds me of how much I like the real ones. I’m a guy, we are visual beasts. It’s why we watch THOSE movies.
What is funny about pussies is there are a million toys out there that they make to keep them satisfied and occupied. For me it’s always just easier to use my hands to play with them. 
I’ve always had at least one at my house…

Wait a second…

You know I’m talking about pussy cats right?
Figured I’d make fun of a common innuendo most people talk about every day.

If all you little vixens can post pics of beefcake and muscular guys and drool, I can talk about pussy-pics. They are so adorable. Those that know me see me posting pictures of pussy on Face-book all the time.
Hope everyone is having a nice summer.
Want to read more from S.L. Carpenter? Check out...

And don't forget to connect with S. L. on FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Monday, June 22, 2015

The Things Authors Talk About....UPDATED!

(UPDATED Link for ATOMIC WORDS at the end of this post.)

What do you sit up at night and chat with your friends about? Sometimes it's a convo over a beer, sometimes it's a Skype chat, and sometimes it's a tweet or instant message, but we all have those people that keep us up way past our bedtime.

When I started interacting with other readers around the world, I found out I live in the wrong city, because most of the people I want to chat with most live in other parts of the state, country, and

I like to refer to myself as a introvert with extrovert spasms. At the end of the day, I'd probably rather be sitting at home in comfy clothes drinking a beer and reading a great book than any other activity on the planet.

Social Media to the RESCUE!

Social media allows me to chat and still have the time to carefully plot out what I say. (We won't talk about how many times I delete. Unless I've had margaritas...)

But recently I agreed to do a podcast. Why? Because when I was first getting to know this weird world of authorland I found a podcast of one of my favorite authors and was fascinated. That was what her voice actually sounded like? She really is hilarious in person? You can say "cock" on a podcast?

So I took the plunge and had a blast. But it got me thinking. I probably should have been a bit more prepared. In the interest of fair warning are the top 3 things to expect if you hear me in an interview or meet me in person.

1. I will cuss.  If this bothers you, I want to give you plenty of time to gird your loins. I try to behave in public instances, but if I like you...I'm probably going to drop at least one profanity in your presence. It's a sign of affection. And an inability to control my excitement. Feel flattered.

2. I will bring up Bacon, Chocolate, Beer, and Sasquatch. Either individually or a combination. (Now I'm thinking about chocolate covered Sasquatch...) For some reason the topics tend to turn in these directions. I've got a Sasquatch story idea I'm playing with right now. This part may pass and be turned around to the next obsession. I make no promises.

3. I will passionately talk about books. Reading them, writing them, or industry talk in general. I found a home in the erotic romance community. I love this genre, and it is such a welcoming beautiful place. So get me started on that and things go astray.

I'll be a guest on Karen Greco's Podcast called Atomic Words. I'll be giving out the info when it goes live. We talked for nearly two hours. The poor woman has a lot of editing to do. LOL! In the meantime...check out my CP's interview about her crazy awesome world, in episode 4.

If you had to warn people about yourself, what would you have them brace for?

UPDATE: My Podcast with Karen is live. Listen to it on her website HERE. Or look for it on iTunes.


To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at

Monday, June 15, 2015

Finding the Fun

I'm a procrastinator. I tend to put off tasks that I don't enjoy. And all it takes is one thing to throw my imaginary schedule off, and I call for a day do-over.

Because I really can't fold laundry in any other room of the house other than the bedroom where my husband is sleeping. And I always do laundry in the morning. So it's completely impossible for me to have clean clothes while he is on vacation this week.

Yes...I know I am full of shit on this, but my schedule is screwed up and it makes me grumpy.

I think every writer has their quirks that help them get through the parts of the process they'd rather avoid like the plague, and lets them get to the times they crave like a donuts after a juice cleanse.

For me...I like hearing my characters talk. When I'm writing a first draft and I get to hear their "voices" on the paper, it's a thrill. I think that's why I enjoy first person POV so much. I love having my characters tell me their story.

So when I have to do some of the other parts of the writing process, I tend to bring my characters with me.

I'm have a horrible time talking about myself, and usually blank when someone asks me a question. So I do what any writer would do, I try and dig myself out with a bit of creativity. I got to do an interview for All Romance Ebooks last week, and in chatting with Dawn (awesome promo goddess extraordinaire) about it, we both agreed I needed to bring something a bit more me to the table. And by me, I mean not me at all. So my characters jumped in. You can read the chaotic results HERE.

I had a blast doing it.

I'm working on edits, edits, and more edits at the moment. I'm not thrilled about it, but deadlines won't move because I'm moody, so I'm doing little things to bribe myself through the process. I've got my reward candy lined up for completing ten pages, I've got my favorite woodwick candle burning next to me, and I've got some "inspirational" pictures to keep me smiling.

My favorite inspirational pic is the cover for Three's a Clan, which will be set loose on the world September 8th!

What do you do to keep yourself motivated?

*pets the cover*

Three's a Clan

Sometimes the only way to hold on is to let it all go.
Hart Clan Hybrids, Book 3
Finding out she’s a byproduct of her maker’s plan for world domination is a letdown for Shelly Meyers. Now she must figure out where to pin her loyalties. Tradition tells her to follow her leader, but something tells her tradition is overrated. Is it her conscience? Nah. Not that. Not anymore.
Richard Paulson never planned on turning furry, yet here he is, an Alpha in charge of a pack. Even with Doc, his beta, at his back, he seems to keep winding up in another frying pan.
Long ago, Trevor “Doc” Paulson gave the woman he loved to someone who could give her the life she deserved. Now, as he and Richard fight to prevent history repeating, he’s struggling not to act on pure attraction—again. He knows he should be Rick’s voice of reason, but what happens when the three of them get close makes no sense at all.
Together they must decide to let go of the past to forge a new future—and fast. Before a power-hungry vampire takes it all away.
Product Warnings
This book contains a sexually volatile vampire who is about to grab the world and a couple of werewolves by the balls. Not for the faint of heart, or those who are opposed to sex, blood, bites, multiple partners and multiple orgasms.

Monday, June 8, 2015

My Week In Review: Featuring Cameos by Ninjas, Hamsters, Man Titty, and The Hoff

As you might have gathered from my previous posts, I tend to be a wee bit obsessed with music. And strippers. And flounder paddles. I have yet to find all three of those combined in one video on Youtube. *side note: Get your shit together, Youtube. Clearly you’re lacking in this department.* But anywho, I thought I’d recap my random observations this week with the appropriate music videos. Because ya know, I live to terrify you with my random observations and David Hasselhoff singing and doing the splits.

Kung Fury
Without question my biggest highlight this week was having Pinterest recommend the theme song from Kung Fury to me. Because obviously Pinterest GETS ME. *side note: Get your shit together, Youtube. Clearly you’re lacking in this department too. Occasionally throwing me a bone with drag queen performance clips will keep you in my affections only so long* But I digress. When I heard that Kung Fury had gotten the green light, well, I might have squeed myself a little bit. I’ve been a huge fan since they first launched the Kickstarter for it. To find out more about the epic gem click here. In the meantime, bask in the glory of David Hasselhoff and lazer dinos.
My Ninja Theme Song
I can never watch ninja movies/ music videos without my mind drifting to what my own ninja theme song should be. Because ya know, why go for the covert ninja attack when you can choreograph it with cannon blasts, oiled strippers repelling from the rafters (for distractive purposes), and rocket-propelled rabid hamsters. Not that I’ve put a lot of thought into this or anything...
I can't imbed this video, so here's the handy dandy link if you want to check out my snazzy ninja theme song:
Man Titty
Me and one of my writer buds, Amie Stuart, were looking through the stock photo sites for an upcoming project we’re working on. We both lamented the sad lack of great man titty images. *side note: get your shit together, stock image sites. We need more awesome man titty and less skeevy/potential serial killers. TYVM.* I tried to find a titty ditty that featured the male variety, but sadly that was lacking too. *side note: Youtube, get your shit together. What are you, in cahoots with stock image sites? Damn you both to hell for your blatant disregard of titty equality.* In the meantime, here’s the NOT MALE BOOB SONG.

New Cover Hawtness
Speaking of covers, the fabulicious Kelly Rubidoux, AKA Kelly Apple, just put the finishing touches on the cover for Frisky Business—the upcoming 3rd book in my Perfect Chemistry world. You can check out the cover and soundtrack inspiration over on Pinterest.  I’m just starting to put that board together, but if you’ve been following the slowly evolving sparky love/hate relationship between Jane and Jack, I think you’ll agree this song pretty much sums them up to a T.
Can't imbed this one either, but you can find it here:
Full disclosure here, there’s pretty much NOT a week that I don’t think about lumberjacks. I mean, usually they’re hot, bearded, look good in flannel, and make inappropriate innuendos about hardwood. *side note: I don’t really know if the wood innuendo part is true, but if I was a lumberjack I wouldn’t let that shit pass me by, so I assume it’s true.* This song is actually going on a book soundtrack as the theme song for an upcoming hero of mine. Naturally, he’ll drop dirty innuendos like an eager beaver going to town on some hardwood.
Annnnnnd of course I picked another video I can't imbed. Check it out here:

So there you have it! My musical recap of my week. What song best describes a moment from your life?

Oh! I’d be remiss if I didn’t do a little pimping of my latest release, Dylan. It’s part of The Sons of Dusty Walker—a series I co-wrote with Sable Hunter, Desiree Holt, and Randi Alexander. You can find our entire series on Amazon: You can also check out my book soundtrack on Pinterest.

Secrets and lies—the legacy of Dylan Walker’s existence. Ashamed of his status as a bastard son, Dylan found solace and a sense of identity as the lead bass guitarist for Truckstop Pickup. But with one phone call, his world is shaken to its core. Summoned to Kansas after the death of his father, Dylan discovers he has three brothers he knew nothing about. Reeling from that earth-shattering revelation, he figures life can’t throw him a bigger curveball. Until fate puts him face-to-face with the woman his heart refuses to forget...and her little boy. Who just happens to bear a striking resemblance to Dylan.

Never love a musician. That’s always been Zoe Chapman’s number one motto. Daughter of a legendary country star, she knew that truth better than anyone. Then she’d met Dylan. He’d stripped her of her defenses, and she’d fallen. Hard. Now he’s back in her world. A living, breathing, too-sinful-for-words personification of everything she’s ever wanted. And can never have. Only Dylan is dead set on becoming a permanent fixture in their son's life. Determined to make her part of the package deal, he works at breaking down her walls again, and her resistance is slipping faster than her panties.

But there’s another secret Zoe’s hiding. And it could end up pushing Dylan away from her forever.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Why don't they make...?

I was looking for a tasteful photo of chocolate.
Then this one screamed "Use Me!"
photo credit: PA067570 via photopin (license)
So one thing I was pondering about lately--why does chocolate lube not taste like chocolate? And never mind how I know this.

Why chocolate, anyway? Or strawberry, raspberry, or any of the other best-selling flavors? Is sex like a sundae and we really need that cherry flavor to complete it? Or lime flavor, because the lime goes in the coconut (milk)? (Yes, I went there.)

To me, chocolate lube tastes more like plastic. Add in perspiration and other things and frankly, I think the fave flaves are a bit bizarre.

Why don't they make lube in popcorn flavor? Wouldn't that, um, blend better? Or coffee? That would be my favorite, for when hubby's ready first thing in the morning and I'm still prying my eyes open, much less anything else ;)

(I have to admit to being slightly afraid to post this essay. Somewhere deep down I think Roxy Mews and/or Jodi Redford will take this as a challenge and my inbox will be flooded with links to popcorn-flavored lube.)

What about you? what is your dream flavor?