So I know this will come as a huge shock to y’all, but sometimes I enjoy randomly browsing Ebay for
weird shit eccentric
collectibles. So without future ado, I present my Top Ten list of Bat-Shit Bizarre
Future Cherished Family Heirlooms.
1) A kitchen sponge that looks like a sandwich. AKA, bologna with a side of salmonella. YUM. http://www.ebay.com/itm/ThumbsUp-Homade-SANSPO-Sandwich-Multipurpose-Cleaning-Sponge-/320949194267
2) Moose poop earrings. http://www.ebay.com/itm/PP1-1-Real-MOOSE-POOP-doo-doo-nugget-Silver-earrings-jewelry-WEIRD-funny-gift-/3911493 I wonder if they went to Jared for those?
3) Giant Bigfoot tooth http://www.ebay.com/itm/GIANT-BIGFOOT-TOOTH-100-REAL-SIDESHOW-GAFF-MUMMIFIED-FREAK-ODD-TAXIDERMY-MYTH-/301734677183?hash=item4640c9cabf The dentist who extracted that wisdom tooth must have balls of steel. Or least he used to, before that sasquatch ripped them off.
4) Inflatable dick suit http://www.ebay.com/itm/Tricky-Dick-inflatible-Halloween-party-trick-or-treat-Mardigra-costume-gay-int-/221862680011 Because nothing says Life of the Party like an inflatable shlong john.
5) Whatever the hell this is http://www.ebay.com/itm/WEIRD-CIRCUS-MAN-Vintage-Photo-Animal-ODD-STRANGE-Cart-Pic-Image-BW-Bizarre-R91-/301737480853 Were hippo-driven carts really the preferred mode of transportation in days of yore? And why is this no longer an option? Was there a hippo strike? WHY ISN’T THIS IN THE HISTORY BOOKS?!?
6) Finger hands http://www.ebay.com/itm/FINGER-HANDS-Novelty-Joke-SILLY-CRAZY-GOOFY-STUFF-Time-on-your-Hands-WEIRD-/351381663373 When you're really looking to impress your friends with your epic Jazz Hands routine.
7) Mr. Bacon bendable action figure http://www.ebay.com/itm/Mr-Bacon-Bendable-Action-Figure-Unique-Gift-Novelty-Toy-Kitsch-Weird-Gag-Funny-/111155952429 Full disclosure--I really want one of these.
8) Vintage butt tissue dispenser http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-BUTT-Tissue-Dispenser-Weird-Ass-Bathroom-fixture-Strange-Bizarre-Rare-/321815042271 Yeah, no commentary necessary.
9) Mummified centaur fetus http://www.ebay.com/itm/Mummified-Fetal-Centaur-Oddity-Gaff-Strange-Weird-Mythical-Being-/400993217728 Sounds legit.
10) jockstrap for your highballs http://www.ebay.com/itm/PAIR-OF-WEIRD-HIGHBALL-HOLDERS-MINIATURE-JOCK-STRAPS-THAT-SAY-FOR-YOUR-HIGHBALL-/191239713276?hash=item2c86c671fc All I've got to say is I hope they're not used jockstraps.And there you have it! Convienant one-stop shopping for all your Christmas needs. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that I have a sorta recent release. Not new, since it’s a box set of 4 of my Red Hot titles, but if you’re looking for a hot bundle at a discounted price, then check it out. This one will be around only for a limited time. Mr. Bacon bendable action figure sold separately.