Monday, May 25, 2015

It's NOT Porn...It's Research

I love my job as a writer. People always assume as an erotic romance author we are sex-crazed people. Well…not to screw up everyone’s perception…but it is true. Most of us may seem to hide behind this façade of humble upbringings to hide the darker, seedy side of romance writers.

I bring this up because I was asked again in my “real life” about it. I don’t hide what I do but never talked about it. It was my life and nobody’s business. Then it was revealed that I was a writer through a Google search and I had to deal with all the standard questions and miscellaneous things said.

For me…my career started as a dick-double in the porn industry. I never had the face for movies so they would do all the close-ups with other actor’s faces. Due to a birth defect and a slight case of elephantitus, I was extremely endowed with what resembled a large cucumber between my legs. 11 inches and a bend to the left when erect made the abnormality something that porn directors would request.

My work was mainly a day-by-day thing where I would do seven or eight scenes then not work again for a week then do seven or eight the next weekend. The money was descent and I would get laid regularly. After a freak groin pull accident involving a midget, a blender and a life sized Barbie blow-up doll I decided to turn to writing.

Obviously that all was a bunch of bullshit because like most writers we all lead normal lives except the chosen few that live the insane dream of making it rich with their books.  

I like to write sexy stories. Shoot me…
I find sex to be amazing and at times really funny. The “O” faces alone can make you burst out in laughter.

I think it is a great release to write things I wish I were capable of. What man wouldn’t want to have the power over a woman they desire to bring her to new heights of ecstasy. Oh, and all those women are virgins and never been with another man and this singular time will ruin them for any man afterward because it will be so completely mind blowing.

As for porn…ummm,  it’s research. I mean some of the positions I can think of seem physically impossible until I see…”Oh ya, Barbie Buxom did that in a movie with the three football players and the goat mascot.”

In all honesty I think most romance writers write from their own love of romance. They love passion and telling stories about people and mix a little of their own wants and desires into the characters. The female characters are all a side of the writer (or in my case the male characters are a lot like me…tall, handsome and hung like a horse).

I have been blessed in meeting so many different people in my life and all the writers I call “friends” share the same thing. They have stories in their hearts to share with the readers. We all feel lust, the darker side to sex and all that but our deepest and hidden beasts are our own and a great story just adds fuel to their fires.

When asked, “Why do I write erotic romance?”
I tend to answer with a standard response, “Because I enjoy sex, love and humor and it’s the easiest way to mix the three.”

Truth is, I just like making people feel romantic and silly because that’s what makes me happy.

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