Monday, December 28, 2015

Gearing Up to Make Fools of Ourselves in 2016

There are only a few days left in the year, and I think most of us are wondering where the hell the time went.

I just got used to writing 2015 on my documents. At least it's going to be easy to draw a little line and make that 5 a 6. The 2014 to 2015 transition was a bitch.

The Lust With a Laugh crew tried something new this year and put out a collection of stories. While everyone is coming down from a holiday high and wondering where the rest of that pie went, we are gearing up for our favorite holiday... April Fool's Day!


Once again the Lusty Linguists (and a few of our friends) are going to get you some stories to read that will make you smile, make you squirm, and might just give you a few ideas for your own April Fool's Day pranks.

We will be releasing ALL NEW stories for mass consumption on April 1st 2016. No Foolin'! (see what I did there?)

As the lineup is finalized you can check back on our group website for the new books, and ordering details!


Find it all at...




As 2015 is ending, I think most of us look at what we've done and where we're going. 

Sometimes the trip down memory lane is more fun than others. Sometimes you have epic freakouts about deadlines, and other times you are googling where to buy flounder paddles.

The Lusty Linguists want to remind you that it's always an easier journey when you can smile. We hope that we've brought you a few of those this year, and look forward to bringing you more in 2016. 








Monday, December 21, 2015

When you can't remember what day it is....


So. Apparently it is Monday. Or...if you're one of my friends on the other side of the pond...it's probably Tuesday. *waves to folks in the future*

I've been trying to juggle all the things I said I could do in the middle of the year, with the amount of actual time I have. 

Here's where reality shows what a bitch it is. 

Things I said I would do this month...

1. Have all my shopping done ahead of time. 


2. Finish edits for a new contemporary series.

3. Have a draft ready to go for April Fools For Love 2016

4. Get 20k into a new story.

5. Give myself time to crochet a new scarf as a present to myself.

Here's how all of that went....

1. I am the Oprah of gift giving. "You get a gift card! And you get a gift card! EVERYONE GETS A GIFT CAAAARRRRRDDD!"

2. If I get the edits done without asking for a second extension, does that count?

I am having nightmares about "Simultaneous Action" notes.
3. I'm close....ish.

4. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

5. I bought yarn...



This time of year we all seem to be running around like crazy people.

Well all of us except those few who have time to hand make holiday cards and send them out on the first of December.

Dear people like this, just so you know...we are all jealous of your organization and preparedness. And we all hate you a little.



So do you have a ton of things to do this week too? Or is it just me out here floundering in the abyss of xmas unpreparedness?


To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at RoxyRocksMe.com

Monday, December 7, 2015

Passion Bites--tour today, release tomorrow!

Starts Today

Tour includes Rafflecopter GIVEAWAY with prizes of 5 $10 egiftcards and more!


Tomorrow...

Passion Bites (Biting Love, Book 9)
A broken vampire and a driven doctor, seized by a passion neither can afford.

Dr. Alexis Byornsson has her hands full in the ER when her patient’s uncle blows into the exam room. Stitching up a five-year-old’s cut is hard enough without a blond god distracting her all to hell.

To say she’s furious is putting it mildly—not that anyone would notice. Not with the legendary control that’s earned her the nickname “Dr. Frozen”.

Luke Steel never knew a woman chastising him could be so sexy. But for the first time in three hundred years, passion stirs in his gut—along with panic. Since his wife was taken before his eyes in a brutal attack, he’s sworn he’d never feel that powerless again.

Almost before either Luke or Alexis realize what’s happening, they’re sharing a blazing kiss that shatters her logical armor and unleashes his wholly unwanted mating instinct. And spurs a closer-than-skin enemy to put into motion a devastating plan for revenge.

Warning: This book contains a hot doctor and a hotter vampire messing up sterile surfaces. The usual rogue shenanigans, but this time covering deeper motives. Hang on to your stethoscopes at what’s revealed!

Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B014W0GGRY
Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/passion-bites-mary-hughes/1122629505?ean=9781619230149
Samhain: https://www.samhainpublishing.com/book/5657/passion-bites
Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/passion-bites
iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/passion-bites/id1037217033?mt=11
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Mary_Hughes_Passion_Bites?id=Nq1_CgAAQBAJ
All Romance: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-passionbites-1885814-340.html
UK Amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B014W0GGRY
UK Nook: http://www.nook.com/gb/ebooks/passion-bites-by-mary-hughes/9781619230149


You work hard making the holidays romantic, magical, fun, and a warm family time. This is our gift to you! If you like emotional romance, dark paranormal or light fantasy, sass and wit, or sizzling sex--and who doesn't like sizzling sex?--join 12 authors for games, chat and giveaways--and Twelve Days of 99c Books, December 1-12.

And remember, Beauty Bites is only 99c but only for a few more days! Grab yours now.
Beauty is skin deep…but the beast goes all the way.

Kindle | Nook | Samhain | Kobo | iBooks | Google Play | All Romance | UK Kindle | UK Nook

When top Minneapolis ad man Ric Holiday is asked to design a campaign for a quaint little town, his first reaction is absolutely not. Meiers Corners is too near Chicago, home of the vampire who turned him as an orphaned boy.

Then the city sends an angel-faced med student with a body made for sin to plead their case. Synnove Byornsson is the ray of sunshine Ric hasn’t felt since he was human.

Armed with determination and a micro miniskirt, Synnove is prepared to crash Holiday’s penthouse cocktail party—and to dislike him on sight. But Mr. All-Style-No-Substance turns out to have a deadly smile, a barely restrained, feral strength, and piercing blue eyes that look at her—not at her cleavage.

Unfortunately Synnove has competition in the form of a sly temptress with a counterproposal. For the first time in her life, Synnove must cash in her genetic lottery ticket and fire back with some sizzle of her own—or her beloved Meiers Corners could become the new Sin City.

Warning: Contains a doctor with a bod for sin, an ad exec with a chip on his shoulder, sarcasm, sex, and a cabin full of annoying friends. Secrets are revealed. One heart-stopping, horrific moment leads to the ultimate of happily-ever-afters.

**Guilty Pleasures A True Gem; Blackraven's Reviews Recommended Read, Harlie's Book Reviews Recommended Read; RT Reviews 4-Star review


Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DUB24P0/
Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/beauty-bites-mary-hughes/1116010903?ean=9781619215818
Samhain: http://store.samhainpublishing.com/beauty-bites-p-72899.html
Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/beauty-bites
iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/beauty-bites/id672343370?mt=11
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Mary_Hughes_Beauty_Bites?id=k9aNCivkj4UC
All Romance: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-beautybites-1271492-140.html
UK Amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00DUB24P0/
UK Nook: http://www.nook.com/gb/ebooks/beauty-bites-by-mary-hughes/9781619215818


Monday, November 30, 2015

A gift for you! $50 egift card grand prize

photo credit: Thanksgiving via photopin (license)
photo credit: Thanksgiving via photopin (license)
If you're like me, this is an insanely busy season. Those hams and turkeys don't baste themselves. The gifts don't magically wrap each other, and it is a sad truth that the Decorator Elves exist only in fairy tales.

You do all that. You work hard during the holidays, making November and December a romantic, magical, fun, and warm family time.

But who makes the holidays sparkle and sizzle for you?

We'd like to help. A dozen authors are banding together to host a bash with 12 Days of 99c Ebooks--with a grand prize $50 Amazon/BN egift cerificate! December 1-12. Treat yourself right this holiday season.

Making the holidays romantic and sexy are New York Times bestselling author Jayne Rylon, New York Times bestselling author Izzy Szyn, bestselling author Jodi Redford, and the awesome Roxy Mews.

Making the holidays magical are international bestselling author Michelle Diener, and the wonderful Elle J Rossi and S.C. Mitchell.

Making the holidays fun are bestselling author Zoe Dawson, me, and the always-hilarious SL Carpenter.

Making the holidays heartwarming are USA Today bestselling author Edie Ramer, USA Today bestselling author Dale Mayer, and Amazon bestselling author Leigh Morgan.

Hope you'll join us for your gift of a little extra warmth this holidays!

a Rafflecopter giveaway
 
Starting tomorrow, Beauty Bites is only 99c! for a limited time. Ebooks make great lightweight stocking stuffers, just sayin' ;)

Beauty Bites (Biting Love Book 6)

Beauty is skin deep…but the beast goes all the way.

Kindle | Nook | Samhain | Kobo | iBooks | Google Play | All Romance | UK Kindle | UK Nook

When top Minneapolis ad man Ric Holiday is asked to design a campaign for a quaint little town, his first reaction is absolutely not. Meiers Corners is too near Chicago, home of the vampire who turned him as an orphaned boy.

Then the city sends an angel-faced med student with a body made for sin to plead their case. Synnove Byornsson is the ray of sunshine Ric hasn’t felt since he was human.

Armed with determination and a micro miniskirt, Synnove is prepared to crash Holiday’s penthouse cocktail party—and to dislike him on sight. But Mr. All-Style-No-Substance turns out to have a deadly smile, a barely restrained, feral strength, and piercing blue eyes that look at her—not at her cleavage.

Unfortunately Synnove has competition in the form of a sly temptress with a counterproposal. For the first time in her life, Synnove must cash in her genetic lottery ticket and fire back with some sizzle of her own—or her beloved Meiers Corners could become the new Sin City.

Warning: Contains a doctor with a bod for sin, an ad exec with a chip on his shoulder, sarcasm, sex, and a cabin full of annoying friends. Secrets are revealed. One heart-stopping, horrific moment leads to the ultimate of happily-ever-afters.
**Guilty Pleasures A True Gem; Blackraven's Reviews Recommended Read, Harlie's Book Reviews Recommended Read; RT Reviews 4-Star review

Kindle | Nook | Samhain | Kobo | iBooks | Google Play | All Romance | UK Kindle | UK Nook

Monday, November 23, 2015

The Darling Husband: FREE Sample Story from "S.L. Carpenter's Big Book of Lust"

And now something completely different

All us Lusty Linguists do our best to make you readers see the humorous side to things. Personally i try to make you all say WTF as much as possible.
Earlier this month I released a book called S.L. CARPENTER'S BIG BOOK OF LUST.
50 short stories filled with sex, weirdness, lust, lust, squirming and a bunch of other craziness.
I wanted to share a sample story so you all can all get a taste of the screwy way my mind works.

Hope you enjoy it.

The Darling Husband

Fred felt silly going to buy some of those feminine product things for his wife. But being a typical pussy-whipped male, he was out in the late hours in search of things he was afraid of, on his wife’s instructions.

Sharon was a spoiled woman but deserved it. At least she told Fred she did. She had everything already but every time she’d drop a hint about wanting something, she would go buy it within a few days because she had no patience.

He was driving down the street to where there was a small strip mall with a few stores still open, along with a cute card shop and a coffee house. Maybe a gift certificate for the coffeehouse would be something nice to get Sharon. She loved her morning cup. It was her bitch-awakening drink. If she didn’t get it, watch out.

Fred pulled his long jacket closed. He hopped out of his truck and walked toward the door of a store next to the coffee shop. The bell jingled, he stepped into the neon-lit interior, and a burly, hairy, man with a ponytail snarled at him from the front counter before re-opening the DDD Natural XXX porn magazine he was reading.

Apparently it isn’t a myth. The freaks really do come out at night.

There was an elderly lady wearing pink furry bunny slippers and a flowered muumuu dress. Her blue hair was pulled up in a bun and she wore horn-rimmed glasses. She was looking at some packages and mumbling to herself.

Fred shook his head, wasn’t watching where he was going and bumped into a man standing in the aisle. At first glance he resembled a biker. Big and bald with a sinister curl to his mouth.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry.”

In a high-pitched voice the man replied, “It’s okay, sweetie. No harm done.” The man turned around and Fred looked down to see assless chaps on the guy. Not only was his ass hairy but he had a tattoo of a heart with the name Bobby in a it on one cheek.

Fred was somewhat lost, but didn’t want to look totally stupid and ask for help. When he felt a tap on his shoulder, he turned to see an attractive woman smiling at him.

“Hello, can I help you?”

Fred was relieved, but still a little nervous. It wasn’t as if he’d asked for this before. “Yes, I’m looking for something for my wife.”

“From the look of you I can see why.”

“What? No, she asked me to pick something up for her.”

“I see. Well, what exactly are you looking for?”

“I guess something in regular? I travel a lot and she says sometimes she has needs. She didn’t get what she needed last time. She said I can call her and she’d…you know…” Fred paused. “I’m not real comfortable talking about this.”

“No problem. Let me show you what we have and that might make it easier.”

There was a small cutout inside the brightly lit store. On the walls surrounding Fred was a smorgasbord of rubber cocks. They were in every size, shape and color imaginable.

“Holy shit. There are so many things here. What do you do with all this?”

“It all depends on your partner. There are Ben Wa balls, pleasure missiles, ribbed, threaded, glow in the dark, black, green gelled, pink rubber, flesh-toned, clit-tickler dildos. Here look at this one.”

The woman handed him a flesh-colored dildo with a small pouch attached to it by a thin tube. “This one is lifelike in texture and actually ejaculates.”

“Uh. What do you mean?”

She reached to the pouch and squeezed it. “See?”

A squirt of fluid shot from the tip of the dildo and into Fred’s face. “Holy fuckin’ shit. I was just, oh my God—I’m gay now—I can’t believe—um.” He licked his lips as the fluid dribbled down his cheek. “Er, this tastes like a glazed donut.”

“Well, yes, we put a flavored fluid in there sometimes to add to the woman’s playful side.”

“What’s that?” He set the dildo down and picked up a flesh-colored rubber pussy from a glass shelf.

“Oh, that’s one of our new scented toys for men. It has a realistic scent of a woman’s pussy. Go ahead, give it a smell.”

Fred put it to his nose and jerked his head back. “Damn, that smells like shit!”

“Oh, you had it backward. Try the other side.” The woman made a flipping motion with her hand.

“I’ll pass. What else do you sell here?” He handed the woman the pussy and turned around.

She stepped beside him and continued. “We have anal-vaginal double-penetrating toys, butt plugs, anal beads, nipple or clitoral clamps, cock rings, battery or electric operated vibrators. Fake pussies, fake assholes, porn magazines, porn VHS tapes, porn DVDs, peekaboo shows, nudie booths, peep shows, jack-off booths, gay porn, lesbian porn, midget porn, animal porn, transvestite porn, Japanese porn, cross-gender porn, chicks-with-dicks porn. There are a variety of costumes. We have some whips, chains, genital clamps, ropes, leather, vinyl, edible undies, floggers, gag balls, handcuffs, branding irons, BDSM tools, S&M tools, wax-play candles, various restraints, clothespins, mechanical fucking machines and we even have the BFOM-720.”

“Dare I ask?”

The woman grinned and said, “It’s the Big Fucking Orgasm Machine. It has triple speed controls, hooks up to any two-twenty outlet and has an automatic reset and a breaker fuse if it shorts out. It comes with fourteen attachments and a sixty-day money-back guarantee on parts and labor. It can also be used as a blender and power drill. There is a warning that it has been known to cause some vaginal trauma if left in too long.”

“Does it run on gas or diesel fuel?”

She wasn’t amused by his joke. “Okay. What can I get you?”

“Well, I appreciate your help but what I really came in here for is tampons for my wife.”



Smiling yet? Buy the ENTIRE collection HERE!

And don't forget to connect with S. L. on FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Back Up Yo' Sh*t. #NaNoWriMo Lesson Time.

Gather round the computer ladies and gents it's story time

Once upon a time, there was an event called NaNoWriMo. That stands for National Novel Writing Month if you aren't familiar. This event gathered people around the globe to write fifty thousand words in just thirty days time.

Everyone had different reasons for going on this journey. Some wanted to write for a living, and needed some motivation to complete the next project on their plate. Some wanted to try writing as a hobby. Some have had dozens of story ideas, but were never able to make themselves get to the end of the book. And some just wanted to go to write-ins and catch the word count frenzy that followed.

They all banded together in support of each other and created buddy packs to ensure they had the sustenance needed to reach the purple bar of completion. All worked diligently and through late nights to accomplish their goals.

But one writer disobeyed the cardinal rule of NaNoWriMo...BACK UP YO' SH*T.

Now. This writer saved her entire book on one thumbdrive. The book wasn't on her computer, it wasn't on cloud storage, and it wasn't saved on any other thumbdrive. She held her precious thumbdrive in high regard and knew no other device was worthy of her story.

When she didn't pour an extra a cup of coffee and leave it as a sacrificial offering, the gods of NaNoWriMo became angry with the writer. They knew the muses did not get their caffeine fix and it was about to be a serious problem. The NaNoWriMo gods possessed her cats and ordered them to destroy the book for not providing the muses with their fuel.

The cats did as the NaNoWriMo gods commanded and destroyed the computer.

 The destruction was incredible.



The files were corrupted. 

The storage device was annihilated. 




The evening had started out as a joyous romp through wordland. The writer had planned to feed her book with thousands of new words and frolic in the beauty of the daily green bar of accomplishment. But that would not come to pass. The destruction was absolute.

But although the writer was sad, the story was still within her. She knew she could rebuild her world. She knew there was light on the other side of this tragedy, because she could create the happy ending she needed. 

THE END 


The moral of this story is...BACK UP YOUR FREAKING MANUSCRIPT! Put it on a thumbdrive. Save it on your hard drive. Load that bastard up on the cloud. Create a drop box account. Hell, take your novel on a field trip to a friend's house and save it on their computer!

I didn't tell you this tale of woe to scare you, but I told it to you to ensure you BACK UP YO' SH*T!

~Roxy

To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at RoxyRocksMe.com


Monday, November 9, 2015

Get Hammered!

Heh. Not that kind of hammered. Although, now that I think about it, it is a Monday and I'm sweating through another deadline. Margarita Happy Hour sounds pretty damn good right about now. >.> But in this case I'm talking about Hunks, Hammers, and Happily Ever Afters. Remember that hot lumberjack book I was talking about several months ago? The one with this theme song? Well, now you can get your hot little hands on it, along with the six other fabulous stories in the box set. All for the stupendously low price of 99 CENTS. But you'll want to grab it soon. That price will be going up AND the set is available for a limited time.

An anthology of novellas about hunky blue collar, hammer wielding heroes and the women who tame them. Stories are by USA Today Bestselling Authors Cari Quinn, Cathy Clamp, Anna J. Stewart, and featuring authors Jodi Redford, Amie Stuart, Leah Braemel, and Chudney Thomas.

Get down and dirty with this sexy blue collar bundle featuring seven original contemporary romance novellas that range from sweet to sizzling. 

 
Read on for an exclusive excerpt from Knotty Magic...

Monday, November 2, 2015

One Month to Passion Bites--and Big Huge GARGANTUAN 99c sales bash

Do you like SEX? Do you like ROMANTIC TENSION and BANTER?

Do you like 99c SALES? *

Next month Passion Bites releases. Biting Love Book 9 is the one readers have been waiting for, where Logan Steel's twin brother Luke meets his mate in Dr. Alexis Byornsson, sister to Synnove. It's a journey of physical passion, sure, but more an emotional journey of epic proportions. Luke lost his wife 300 years ago and is one broken guy.

Oh, there's humor too. Wouldn't be Biting Love without it ;)

*To celebrate the release of Luke & Alexis's story, Samhain is offering her sister's story, Beauty Bites, for 99 cents. LIMITED TIME ONLY, December 1-11. And some of my author friends are helping me celebrate with a 12 Days of Sales reader extravaganza! 12 days of 99c books PLUS huge 60-book Thanksgiving giveaway!! I'm so excited I'm tossing in extra exclamation points!!!! Details as I get them here.

Passion Bites
A broken vampire and a driven doctor, seized by a passion neither can afford.

Dr. Alexis Byornsson has her hands full in the ER when her patient’s uncle blows into the exam room. Stitching up a five-year-old’s cut is hard enough without a blond god distracting her all to hell.

To say she’s furious is putting it mildly—not that anyone would notice. Not with the legendary control that’s earned her the nickname “Dr. Frozen”.

Luke Steel never knew a woman chastising him could be so sexy. But for the first time in three hundred years, passion stirs in his gut—along with panic. Since his wife was taken before his eyes in a brutal attack, he’s sworn he’d never feel that powerless again.

Almost before either Luke or Alexis realize what’s happening, they’re sharing a blazing kiss that shatters her logical armor and unleashes his wholly unwanted mating instinct. And spurs a closer-than-skin enemy to put into motion a devastating plan for revenge.

Warning: This book contains a hot doctor and a hotter vampire messing up sterile surfaces. The usual rogue shenanigans, but this time covering deeper motives. Hang on to your stethoscopes at what’s revealed!

Preorder now!
Kindle | Nook | Samhain | Kobo | iBooks | Google Play | All Romance | UK Amazon | UK Nook

Monday, October 26, 2015

S.L. Carpenter's Big Book of Lust!

S.L. Carpenter has a BIG release coming out in just a few days.

He's giving out all the details on his FB page. So make sure you click HERE and like the page to get all the upcoming details.

With everyone going out to Trick-or-Treat this Halloween, why not treat yourself to a new book?

It's even calorie free!

Pre-Order is live now, and for only 99¢ you can make sure you have something BIG waiting for you on Halloween night.



BLURB:

**Warning: May cause uncontrollable laughter and inappropriate erotic thoughts. You’re welcome.** 


Fifty short stories from the twisted imagination of S.L. Carpenter. They won’t blow your mind…they will buy it a drink, take it to dinner, argue like crazy with it and then take it home and have fabulous make-up sex with it. 


S.L. Carpenter’s take on life, love and—yes—lust, will surprise, amuse, shock and arouse you. It is a literary ride to equal all rollercoasters you’ve ever ridden put together. Inhibitions are forbidden, tongues may be placed firmly in cheeks (your own or someone else’s) and good taste should be sent off for a nap. It’s a life-changer. Are you brave enough to change yours? 

***(STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT MAY OFFEND SOME READERS)***

And don't forget to connect with S. L. on FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Monday, October 19, 2015

Tired of me yet?

October 1st marked my second full year as a published author.

I've learned a lot about myself through this process and I thought I'd share some of my discoveries. Maybe you've already figured this stuff out. If so...nod along with me.

Here are the top 5 things I've figured out as a writer in the last two years.

1. Online friends are just as important as people you can drive to and touch. 
I thought I was weird through High School. I figured there were just a few people who would be my friends in college. Then I started writing romance and I realized, there are a lot of us out there in the world and even if I can't drive down the street and have coffee with them, doesn't make them any less of a friend.

If they were to ever try and tell me to stop drinking coffee...well then I would just mute them on FB.

2. Diets and edits should never be attempted simultaneously. 
Unless you really do have enough bail/lawyer money to deal with the fallout, do not attempt such things. I suppose you could work on murdering characters, but without chocolate, I don't trust myself to not strangle the man driving the ice cream truck relentlessly around my neighborhood.

Edits are the most stressful part of the process for me, and I have learned (as has hubby) that doing this without chocolate cake and wine creates a world no one wants to live in.

3. Offices come in all shapes, sizes, and flavors.
I tried to write in a lot of different areas around my home and outside of it. I don't have a dedicated home office, and my HOA would probably frown at me constructing the Gothic cathedral I'd like to in my back yard. So I either write on my couch, in a chair, or when I can't stand the sight of the laundry any longer, I venture out with my ear buds and buy a coffee or small meal to keep me going.

Turns out I write best when I park in the spot third from the back at Panera and park my ass in the two seater booth next to the outlet. I also write better when they DON'T RUN OUT OF HAZELNUT COFFEE! *cough* excuse me.

But yeah. Writing in a proper office, isn't always necessary, or even the best option.

4. Social media was created by evil trolls who suck the productivity out of my body with a straw. 
I'm freaking addicted to social media. Probably because of point #1 up above. I have met with some amazing people, and there are some of you who I bother  talk with everyday. It's hard for me to turn off the notifications because there have been some OMG moments that everyone has helped me with. I want to be able to be there for everyone else too. Unfortunately the notification sounds the same if we are talking about book titles or stripping dinosaurs.

And we all know the stripping dinosaurs are way more important.



5. I can do way more than I give myself credit for.
When I was thinking of getting involved in writing, I did what we all do when we go after our dreams. I told myself I wasn't good enough. I told myself I was years away from being able to get into the writing game.

I saw a quote on pinterest one day. It said..."I can and I will. Watch me."

I started doing what I told myself I wasn't good enough to try. And you know what?

I did it.

Now when I get ready to start a new book, or when someone approaches me for a project, it's just a little easier to quiet that voice.

I'm only 2 years into this new adventure. But good things are coming. Just you watch.

~Roxy

To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at RoxyRocksMe.com

Monday, October 12, 2015

Frisky Business & a Perfect SALE!


Every once in a while there are characters who are extra vocal about getting their stories told. For those of you who've read my Kinky Chronicles series up to this point, you're probably not too surprised to know Jane falls into that category. She's completely shameless and in no way timid when it comes to speaking her mind. As for her hero, Jack...well, he's not exactly shy either. Guess that comes with the territory when you're a former gigolo. These two have been dancing around each other, taunting me with their sparky love/hate backstory. Which only means one thing...

Time to give the stubborn jerks some featured page time. Coming 1/7/2016:

                                                                         Frisky Business
                                                                  
                                                                 Kinky Chronicles, Book 3

The best way to get over a man? Get your kink on with another. And Jane Campbell knows the perfect escort agency to get the job done.

As the owner of Hunks for Hire, Jack Brewster is used to the raunchy requests that land in his inbox. Bondage and blindfolds? Par for the course. But Jane’s email whispers a wicked enticement. A sane man would delete the message. Or send his best escort to the date armed with a steel cup. Only problem? The thought of Jane naked and bound beneath any guy but him is like a knife in Jack’s gut.

He doesn’t do commitments. And he sure as hell doesn’t do love and Happily Ever Afters. He was a fool before in that regard. Never again. But he can indulge in a taste. Then he’ll walk away from Jane. For good.

But eating forbidden fruit has its addictive consequences, and two stubbornly anti-love sinners are about to take the biggest fall of them all.

Warning: This book contains an irredeemable bad girl, an ex-gigolo who can give the Kama Sutra some pointers, and a sweet, dirty, and thoroughly complicated love story long overdue.

Pre-order available now:
 

Haven't read the first book in the series yet? Well, ya got no excuse since I just put Perfect Chemistry on sale. You can scoop it up for 99 cents until this weekend.


And because my kinky geeks love bad chemistry puns as much as I do...

 

Monday, October 5, 2015

I Can See!! One Author's Revealing Expose

I've been putting off glasses most of my life. I already have skin like a pizza and a nose broken enough times to quirk like an accordion. The last thing I thought I needed was a pair of cranky windows on my face.

Yet time catches up with us all. I got my first pair of prescription glasses last week, and I have to say, I was shocked.

I think I look pretty good :)

Granted, my standards have changed over the years, from "Am I pretty" to "Will people take me seriously" to "Will I have to put on pants". (Hey Roxy, how far does that Kroger's deliver...?)

This is without makeup, folks. And have I mentioned the pepperoni skin?

But all you see is the glasses!! They're so honking big nothing else shows but teeth, and those are actually pretty good thanks to my sadistic dentist in childhood (no invisilines in those days, my braces were barbed wire. Literally wire, those suckers developed character, I tell you).

Really, why didn't I get these glasses sooner? Vanity, thy name is, um, vanity. Bonus, I can actually see individual cars coming at me on the freeway. It's a murk-i-cal!

So if you're waiting to take the face-window plunge, here's one author who says go for it!!

Addendum: Thanks everyone for your support! Here's a little thanks :)

Monday, September 28, 2015

When Writing FEELS SO RIGHT

I started thinking about something witty, or cute to say about writing because that is basically what this blog is for. SO I wondered what words of wisdom I had to share about writing.
 
Actually it was funny that over the weekend a friend was asking me as we sat to get some pizza, 4 large pizzas in fact.

His question was “What do you do to get ready to write a book?”

After thinking about it I answered, “I put on some music, stare at a blank screen and wait. I fiddle with looking at the sports news and how terrible my favorite teas are. Then I surf Facebook and find funny pictures of cats or witty sayings and the inspiring quotes that make me feel good.”
 
Hey, it’s my page I’ll post midgets in tutus if I want to.
 
Everyone has a routine. I explained some people do outlines, others take post it notes and plan out the storylines that way. Personally, I wing it because I have no clue what will wander into the revolving door of my head and decide to hang out in the lobby and talk.
 
That or the typical cliché that at 3 am the muse decides it is party time and she’s not wearing anything but a smile and a Marvin the Martian tie. I drag my zombie ass out of bed and start writing in my journal or on paper scraps odd things that when reading in the morning that make absolutely no sense.
 
From story ideas about flying monkeys, to a joke that I found hilarious in my altered state of mind. Usually I shake my head or I’m asked why I scribbled on paper towels by my desk.
 
So if you are an aspiring author, a successful writer or just someone that feels like writing something. Don’t fall into the trap of being like everyone else. I was different since birth and haven’t changed. Do things the way you want. If you like notes, writing in crayons, outlines, post it’s, writing on toilet paper…whatever. As long as you are creating and getting those ideas out you are making progress.
 
Please excuse me, I need to go to the, ummm, library and write my memoirs.

Connect with S. L. on FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Feels So Right is available NOW

Blurb:

They’re ordinary women trying to make a life for themselves, just like everyone else. But these three are about to stumble into the greatest of adventures - love. For Eleanor, it’s a chance meeting at a cheerful country bar, while her sister Jodi opens a new restaurant next door and discovers the bartender has hidden talents. Tracy’s world expands dramatically when she visits her college buddy Eleanor – and learns that domination and submission can lead to unexpected pleasures! They didn’t expect happy endings, but sometimes things just feel so right…

BUY Feels So Right on Amazon.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Testing Rule 34

We've all heard of Rule 34—"If it exists, there is porn of it." But is that true?
http://xkcd.com/305/

In a thoroughly non-scientific manner, I decided to see if I could find exceptions by riffing off Things I Could Think Of.

Since we're riffing, here is Cracked.com's The 6 Most Terrifying Examples of 'Rule 34'. I actually only made it through #6 and #5 *shudder*.

We here at Lust Wish A Laugh have done enough of this in-depth quality research (we're professionals, don't try this at home!) to qualify for its own hash tag. #It'sResearch,Really!

I tried searching Waldo Porn, thinking of the cute little stocking-capped guy. I got...well, I'm not sure, really, but it apparently is shorthand for another fetish. *shudder*

So then, since I play classical flute, I thought of "Flute Porn"...oh, God. NO, DON'T PUT IT THERE...! And yeah, turns out "playing her flute" is a euphemism for dildo blowjob. *sigh*

Really skittish now, I tried "Lust With a Laugh" porn.

And I got--us.

I'm not quite sure if I broke Rule 34 or not...


Tuesday, September 15, 2015

The Eccentric Side of Ebay



So I know this will come as a huge shock to y’all, but sometimes I enjoy randomly browsing Ebay for weird shit eccentric collectibles. So without future ado, I present my Top Ten list of Bat-Shit Bizarre Future Cherished Family Heirlooms. 



1)      A kitchen sponge that looks like a sandwich. AKA, bologna with a side of salmonella. YUM. http://www.ebay.com/itm/ThumbsUp-Homade-SANSPO-Sandwich-Multipurpose-Cleaning-Sponge-/320949194267  

2)      Moose poop earrings. http://www.ebay.com/itm/PP1-1-Real-MOOSE-POOP-doo-doo-nugget-Silver-earrings-jewelry-WEIRD-funny-gift-/3911493 I wonder if they went to Jared for those?

3)      Giant Bigfoot tooth http://www.ebay.com/itm/GIANT-BIGFOOT-TOOTH-100-REAL-SIDESHOW-GAFF-MUMMIFIED-FREAK-ODD-TAXIDERMY-MYTH-/301734677183?hash=item4640c9cabf The dentist who extracted that wisdom tooth must have balls of steel. Or least he used to, before that sasquatch ripped them off.



4)      Inflatable dick suit http://www.ebay.com/itm/Tricky-Dick-inflatible-Halloween-party-trick-or-treat-Mardigra-costume-gay-int-/221862680011 Because nothing says Life of the Party like an inflatable shlong john. 

5)      Whatever the hell this is http://www.ebay.com/itm/WEIRD-CIRCUS-MAN-Vintage-Photo-Animal-ODD-STRANGE-Cart-Pic-Image-BW-Bizarre-R91-/301737480853 Were hippo-driven carts really the preferred mode of transportation in days of yore? And why is this no longer an option? Was there a hippo strike? WHY ISN’T THIS IN THE HISTORY BOOKS?!?

6)      Finger hands http://www.ebay.com/itm/FINGER-HANDS-Novelty-Joke-SILLY-CRAZY-GOOFY-STUFF-Time-on-your-Hands-WEIRD-/351381663373 When you're really looking to impress your friends with your epic Jazz Hands routine.
 
7)      Mr. Bacon bendable action figure http://www.ebay.com/itm/Mr-Bacon-Bendable-Action-Figure-Unique-Gift-Novelty-Toy-Kitsch-Weird-Gag-Funny-/111155952429 Full disclosure--I really want one of these.





10)   jockstrap for your highballs http://www.ebay.com/itm/PAIR-OF-WEIRD-HIGHBALL-HOLDERS-MINIATURE-JOCK-STRAPS-THAT-SAY-FOR-YOUR-HIGHBALL-/191239713276?hash=item2c86c671fc All I've got to say is I hope they're not used jockstraps.

And there you have it! Convienant one-stop shopping for all your Christmas needs. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that I have a sorta recent release. Not new, since it’s a box set of 4 of my Red Hot titles, but if you’re looking for a hot bundle at a discounted price, then check it out. This one will be around only for a limited time. Mr. Bacon bendable action figure sold separately.

                                                              Available from Amazon
                                                              http://amzn.to/1NzQSg5