Monday, September 22, 2014

Guest Post with Katya Armock : Animals and Writing...Put Them Together and Watch the Fur Fly!

I love animals, so there are always some wily cats or goofy dogs in my stories. In my current work in progress, there are even a few comical cows. In my Hidden Lines trilogy, the heroine is an animal psychic, so I even got to write dialogue for a number of animals.

A lot of the situations that show up in my stories are based on my real life experiences with my own brood and those I work with. When I’m not writing, I work as a pet sitter and I also foster kittens and volunteer at a local shelter. I used to be a Veterinary Technician. All my training and experience has taught me a lot about animal behavior—including those comical cows. Honestly, you don’t see pets at their best when they’re at the vet, but it sure tells you about how animals act under stress!

Here are some of my rules for writing about pets:

1.       Just like no human is the same, no animal is the same either. There are certain behaviors that are more common to dogs or cats or rabbits or horses, but every animal I’ve met has its own personality.

2.       You don’t want your human characters to be stereotypes, and neither should your animal characters be typecast. Some cats are snooty, but so are some dogs. Some dogs will follow you everywhere, and so will some cats. Some animals are highly intelligent and some, well, they’re special.

3.       LOL Cats are funny, but it would get old pretty fast if a cat talked that way all the time in a story.

4.       There’s a fine line between acknowledging that animals have emotions and anthropomorphizing them. I try to walk that line and not go too far over.  Also, some people don’t believe animals have emotions or souls or a handful of other “human” traits. I’m not one of those people, so be warned. J

5.       Animals make us laugh, but they also get humans in a way that other humans don’t and have a wisdom all their own.

I hope you enjoy the quote cards that feature some of the animals in the Hidden Lines trilogy.

Blurb for To Hiss or to Kiss, Hidden Lines book 1:

Chloe can “talk” to animals…so why can she hear the thoughts of this hot, green-eyed man?

Abandoned by her mother and raised by a father who’d given up on life, Chloe doesn’t let anyone get close. Lucky for her, she can communicate with animals—telepathically. Animals are the only people she needs. When a suspected dogfighting ring comes to her attention, Chloe decides to do a little spying. In her rush to win the dogs’ trust, she almost gets caught.

Until a sexy stranger intervenes, and she finds she can overhear his thoughts. She’s never been able to hear people, and this man’s about as sexy as she’s ever seen. It’s more than intellectual curiosity that drives her to discover his secret: he’s a jaguar shape-shifter, and the presence of this cat among the dogs might be a bit too much to handle. But the animal attraction is just too hot to resist, and the passion between them makes both the sparks—and the fur—fly…

More info on the Hidden Lines trilogy can be found here.

Buy links (on sale for 99 cents!)

Connect with Katya

Friday, September 19, 2014

Has it REALLY been a year?!?!? Roxy Mews: Author BDay and Giveaway

Published October 1st 2013
This October 1st marks my author birthday. I was published almost a year ago, and I can't believe that much time has passed.

Being an author has been an endless cycle of frantic deadline meeting intermixed with repetitive refreshes of the email inbox.

But overall, I am grateful.

I am grateful for those who read those first manuscripts. You poor poor people. Those were bad. LOL.

I am grateful for the mentors who have
given me advice and comfort, and at times...alcohol when it was needed.  (I'm not going to mention those lovely people because I know that they probably get enough emails. But all of are the reason I submitted that first manuscript.)

Published June 24th 2014
I am also grateful for my husband. Because even though he doesn't read my books (we tried that once, and it didn't work out. LOL) he has supported me trying out this crazy adventure,

But most of all, I am grateful to all the readers. Everyone who picked up my book. If you hated it, if you loved it, if you wanted to give me medication, or just partake in an alcoholic beverage with me after reading it...thank you. Knowing that someone picked up what I wrote is the greatest gift of all.

I know it's coming up Halloween time, but with me feeling so gushy and happy, I need to work that in. 

I'd love to give away a $10 eGift Card to celebrate this crazy year. So in the comments...tell me a scary creature that you are grateful for. I will leave the giveaway open until my Author BDay on October 1st at Midnight EST.

I am grateful for vampires/werewolf hybrids and their sexy stories they tell me.

What about you?


To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at

Monday, September 15, 2014

What IS Funny?

What is funny?
Do you find humor in clumsy people?
What about the cartoons on TV?
Maybe it’s the movie where you laugh at the silliness of someone?

Sometimes the funniest things are your animals.
Or simply reading the drama on Facebook.
What about sex?
Do you think sex is funny?

Some people like silly one-liners.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

I would like to find the person who invented sex and see what he's working on now.

Others prefer the longer jokes.

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."


I bring this up because people think it is so hard to write funny into most romance books. I always try to have humor in my stories because I think life is pretty damn funny. Sex is funny too.
Whether it is the sounds made or the sex face where you resemble Goofy in an epileptic seizure.

How many times have you had a cramp in your leg?
You ever have the cats or dogs jump on the bed when you are getting busy?
Do they yawn after you think you’ve had an amazing encounter?
Life is pretty funny when you think about it.

My greatest laughter has usually come from being in a group and the contagious effect that a great mood and some quick wit provide. To make or hear laughing is a true joy. Kids are always the most pure laughers. When you get older you laugh from experiences a lot and how they were funny.

I have always loved stand-up comedians. The instant gratification from a good or bad joke and how they react fascinated me. I have a LOT of recordings from the Bill Cosby heyday, Jonathan Winters, Buddy Hacket, Redd Fox, Joan Rivers to all the newer comedians out now trying to become the next big thing.

I just love to laugh.

Lately there have been a lot of celebrities passing away and they are all over the news. I remember a lot of the movies and the other media they were on.

For me, the passing of Robin Williams hit a nerve. Shook me to my core. Robin was an icon for people and to me he was by far, the funniest person I had ever watched. Hearing and bringing the awareness of depression to the forefront was a mixed blessing.

George Carlin and Richard Pryor were really popular stand ups and they set the tone. Robin was like a Tasmanian devil going full speed on acid.

I’m only bringing this up because everyone has certain people that inspired him or her. I always gravitated to Robin and Steve Martin. Both comics that were different than the standard comedians.

I post a lot of jokes and thoughts about being happy and sharing the joy of life. Not getting too serious but life is too damn short to not have a laugh. I mean look at farts. Even the word is funny. The reactions are always awkward. Especially because most women don’t fart, but tend to be by small animals that do.

This blog probably didn’t make a lot of sense but in a way it didn’t need to.
My intent was to have people think about what makes them laugh and what they find funny.

Because if you can’t laugh at yourself…call me so I can laugh at you instead.

Want to read more from S.L. Carpenter? Check out...

And don't forget to connect with S. L. on FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Monday, September 8, 2014

Charlie and the Great Pumpkin Condom

Well, my friends, fall is pretty much right around the corner, so today’s post is all about the most important aspect of the season—pumpkin flavored everything! I scoured the web for the weirdest offerings I could find to put us all in the pumpkin spirit. Why? Because I love you. Legit truth.

First up, we have pumpkin spice lasagna. 'Cause nothing says Italian like pumpkin, amiright? Somehow I don’t think Garfield the Cat would approve though. 

Need a nice side for your lasagna? How about some Pumpkin Spice Pringles? You can wash all that pumpkin goodness down with a shot of Pinnacle Pumpkin Pie vodka. 

It's vodka, we'll give it a free pass. >.>

I know what you're thinking. Where is the stinkin' dessert? Never fear, oh ye of little pumkin faith. Would I fail you in this mission? Of course not. I'd never be able to live with myself again. So I present to you in all it's pumpkiny(that's totally a word.) glory Pumpkin Cheesecake KitKat, complete with snazzy packaging that features terrifying pumpkins that look like they'd chew your face off if you turned your back on them. 

Oh wait, maybe you thought I meant a different kind of dessert.


                               Now if only someone would invent Pumpkin spice Latte flavor...


Monday, September 1, 2014

Where I get my (slightly skewed) ideas

photo credit: maureen lunn via photopin cc
I make a lot of mistakese. Mistakes. I could just label myself accident prone and call it quits, but I believe in making lemonade out of lemons (as long as I have lots of sugar and gin).

So I twist it (still with the lemon metaphor) into something I can use.

For example, I was typing the phrase, her clitoris, but my fingers typed herclitoris.

Okay, is it just me or does that sound like a heroine from a Greek  myth?

So then I start spinning. Herclitoris (pronounced Her-CLIH-to-REES) is a follower of Athena and vows to be pure, until she meets time traveler Dirk Thunderthighs, who must visit the Oracle at Delphi to get home, needs a guide and coaxes (heh) Herclitoris into the job. Much attraction ensues.

Not all my creative surges come this way, but a fair portion do.