Monday, April 28, 2014

Cocktails for Characters--Guest Cora Cade--plus giveaway!


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In my debut release MORNING LIGHT we meet Tennyson Sharpe while she's standing atop Noah Harper's mahogany bar in her bare feet.  Much of the book takes place in and around Noah's pub, The Drunken Duck.  And it's only fitting that we explore what kind of adult beverages our motley crew of characters would choose to imbibe.
Let's start with Tenn.  She's our down-to-Earth heroine with a curvy build and a love of lemon lip gloss.  At one point in our novella she finds some liquid courage in a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey.  And I think it's safe to say her drink of choice is:
  • Jameson Neat- Just a simple glass with two-fingers of Jameson.  No fuss, no muss.
Up next is Noah, of course.  Our former Army Ranger is recently home from active duty overseas and has the shrapnel scars to prove it.  With his ocean blue eyes and military buzz cut, Noah is a no nonsense kind of guy.  HIs drink of choice is:
  • Bass Ale on tap- An English beer brewed since 1777 in Burton on Trent.  A straight forward beer for our straight forward hero.
Molly Ryan is Noah's second-in-command at The Drunken Duck and runs the pub with a wicked sense of humor and an iron fist.  She's an experienced bartender with a flair for the dramatic.  Her drink of choice is a custom made cocktail of her own design:
  • Bloody Molly- A traditional Bloody Mary with Jameson and horseradish for extra bite.  Molly might be tiny, but the girl is mighty.  Much like this specialized cocktail.
Last, but not least, we've got Chris Harper.  Not only is he Noah's little brother, he's Tenn's BFF.  Chris is a little more refined than his brother.  He's got a heart of gold, even though he has the worst taste in women -- so far.
  • Any local craft beer- His current selection is a Belgian Tripel from the Blind Squirrel Brewery in  Plumtree, North Carolina.  It's a more complex beer for a more complex man.
So, you've met our major players in MORNING LIGHT and learned just a little about them.  Coming later this year you'll see Molly in her very own book (date to be determined) and I'm currently writing a heroine to capture Chris in the final installment in the Day of Pleasure series.
ABS

For a chance to win an ebook copy of MORNING LIGHT, leave a quick comment and tell us your favorite cocktail!  Winner will be announced Thursday, May 1st first thing in the morning.

You can find me on Facebook at:  www.facebook.com/CoraCade  or you can check out my website at:  www.coracade.com.


I write under a pen name.  Not because my real name is not interesting (but it’s not) or because I felt a deep need for privacy (I don’t).  It had more to do with the uncertainty of how being published would affect those around me.  My husband teaches sixth grade, we live in a small town, and I wasn’t sure how my in-laws would receive the information that I write pretty steamy romances.  Picking my pen name involved a fire, an alcoholic beverage or two, and my husband and I flipping through a baby name book.  After we had a short list I emailed my inner circle and asked for their opinions.  Then I picked the name no one liked.  In the end I had to pick the name I loved, because I’m the one answering to it.  Now my closest friends call me Coco and my real name doesn’t even enter the picture anymore.


And I'm aware that I need to be more proactive about pimping myself out- it really is the hardest part of the whole writer gig for me.  And my husband is a professional photographer and I'd rather eat glass than have my picture taken, which makes it hard to get the polished author photo I need. ;)

Monday, April 21, 2014

The Lusty Linguists Do NOLA: Roxy's Tips for Fun Times at Romantic Times


I am in the middle of the mad dash to get everything ready for the Romantic Times Convention. Meaning I am figuring out how to fit half a week’s worth of clothes, costumes, swag, and band-aids (Blisters, y’all. Be ready for them) in a small suitcase.

I am checking shipping costs and weighing the reliability of the post office versus actually getting my things where they need to go. Check out two of the buttons you can pick up from my swag bag!


And I am looking at my schedule and wondering when I am going to fit that sleep stuff in there.


This will be my third visit to RT, and my fourth con. The difference this time is that I am going in full-on work mode. I have events with Samhain darn near every night, and a few friends from the interwebs that I finally get to harass in person.

So I thought I would share some of my tips for conference season. (First the actual informative things.)

           1.      Leave the purse behind. I have a wristlet that I will be bringing with me. This can go in an actual purse or briefcase if you have to look nice, or it can be used on its own when you don’t want to carry the bags. It can also be tossed in an event tote bag. Sersioulsy, the tote bags breed at these things. You will leave with twenty.

      2.    Carry a pen or sharpie with you at all times.  You will run into people you want to meet in the most random places. If you want that autograph you need to be ready. And although most authors, myself included, would be flattered as hell and probably kiss you inappropriately if you ask for our autograph, there are times that you should keep your pen capped. Don’t ask while they are in the bathroom or in the middle of dessert. Or any other compromising position you may encounter.  You wouldn't want them to interrupt a chocolategasm of yours.
      
      3.   Be flexible. (Not that kind ya pervs) The best memories I had at these cons involved spontaneous moments. Panels are great and you should check out your favorite authors whenever possible, but if someone you admire wants to go grab a drink at the bar don’t pass it up. You will regret it if you do.


Now. Those are the basic tips. Here are the ones if you really want to have a good time.

      1.    Bring fun jammies that you won’t be embarrassed to be seen in. Late night is the real fun at these cons. You can sleep when you’re dead, but after midnight it is much more acceptable to be seen in comfy pants and slippers. Make sure you can work it.

      2.    Work on your alcohol tolerance. Last con I made the horrible mistake of dieting before I went. I was sloppy after just one cocktail. Make sure you can handle a drink or five. Booze flows like water at these things. If you don’t drink, find someone’s hair to hold. It will be a bonding experience for you.

      3.    Do bicep curls, or latch onto a cover model with huge arms. You will get swag. You will get epic boatloads of swag. It will be heavy. It will give you a cramp. (Especially since you are dehydrated from all the alcohol you drank the night before.) Practice carrying small children around for twelve hours at a time. If you can do that, you are ready.

      4.    Buy one of those dildo-looking cellphone charger things. When you really need to snap that picture of your roommate humping a lamp post you don’t want to run out of juice.


So those are my tips.  There are tons more, but you can find a million blogs on how to pack a suitcase or how to clean your hotel room, so as not to get herpes from your remote control. (But seriously don’t touch that thing without rubber gloves)

Jodi and I will be together at the Samhain Publishing Saints and Sinners Party representing the Lusty Linguists. Come see us, or just look for this bag...


…and my purple hair. I am harassing asking some of my friends for goodies to give away. I should have various pins, magnets, sexy covers to use as bookmarks, and other things to hand out.  Feel free to stop me and ask what’s in my goodie bag. Less than a month until NOLA!


Roxy

Monday, April 14, 2014

The Secret Sex Lives of Clowns



Dear diary,

Wait, this blog post isn’t supposed to be a memoir about a few of my exes? *awkward laugh and shifty eyes* Anywho, (side note: Did you know that according to Urban Dictionary, anyone who uses the word “anywho” has a weird personality and is stupendously awesome, magically gifted, and a snappy dresser? True Facts. Especially those last three items.) But I digress. Today’s topic is research. Specifically, the oftentimes strange, fascinating things I uncover on the internet while doing book research. AKA: the oftentimes strange, fascinating things I undercover on the internet that actually have nothing to do with the book I’m writing but flounder-shaped paddles popped up under the search findings and there was no way in hell I wasn’t clicking on that link. 

I know what you’re thinking. Flounder-shaped paddles? WHERE CAN I GET ME A DOZEN OR SO OF THOSE?!? Hm, not what you were thinking? You’re more of a salmon paddle connoisseur? I might have to dig a little deeper into Google Search to unearth where to buy those puppies. Apparently getting your ass smacked by a rubber salmon hasn’t reached the socially acceptable standard that flounder-whacking has achieved. Maybe one day, people. Maybe one day. But back to the flounder paddles. Yeah, they’re a thing. For reals. I’m assuming they’re unscented. Not that I’m judging those who might want the accompanying waft of eau de filet o’fish while getting spanked. To each fish own, I always say. By now you’re probably wondering what kind of person would be drawn to a site that peddles flounder paddles and Snakes in a Can. (side note #2: Snakes in a Can isn’t code for seeing how many well-endowed men you can cram in a public restroom stall. I know, I was disappointed to discover this too.) The other amazing factoid my Googlefoo powers uncovered is the existence of Coulrophilia. Clown fetish. 

According to Urban Dictionary, it’s “the paraphilia involving sexual attraction to clowns, mimes and jesters.” Up until that moment, I had no idea such a thing existed. I could sort of understand the jester thing. I mean, who doesn’t love a man in tights and pointy shoes? And mimes? Who doesn’t love a man stuck in an invisible box who’s also mute?

But clowns?

CLOWNS???

Have none of those people seen the movie IT?

But then it occurred to me. For some, that might actually be part of the draw. No, not a scary fanged clown who lives in a sewer. (side note #3: How bad was the housing market in Derry that Pennywise had to settle for the sewer? Dude, resale value=STINKSVILLE. Literally.) But I digress. (Side note #4: I’m highly skilled at digressing. In case you didn’t notice.) For some, clowns represent fear. And there is a direct link for many between fear and arousal.  Why do you think vampires are so damn sexy to a lot of us? It’s not because they sparkle, I’ll tell you that much. Now I personally know a fair amount of people who are terrified of clowns, and if I so much as suggested they carried a secret fantasy of getting banged by Bozo they’d probably smack me with a flounder. And not in a good way. But that’s not to say that some folks haven’t found a unique way to deal with their clown phobia. It’s also possible that it has nothing to do with fear at all, and clowns just represent a fun, silly side to their sexuality.

Or they just like getting slapped on the ass by a flounder.


Either way, I’m never going to look at a clown the same way again. Or a rubber chicken.

Until next time, when I add to your future therapy bills by discussing giant werewolf dildos...

Monday, April 7, 2014

Fun with Sex

photo credit: x-ray delta one via photopin cc
Do you know what the best part of my authorly job is?

It's not writing in my jammies. I'm weird--I like to be dressed when everyone's out of the house, in case there's a fire and I have to run for my life. Or in case the Cookie Girl comes to the door and I have to buy a case. Cuz, you know. Cookies.

It's not scouring the Internet for factoids--did you know there's a site to see if a Famous Person is dead or alive? And another where you can make your own jigsaw puzzle?

It's not even setting my own schedule or leaning back and letting a thousand story possibilities play in my head.

Nope. Of all those wonderful things, my favorite part of the job is having fun with sex.

Normal authors don't get to do that. Their sex is Always Serious. Their swears are always dark and cutting, d*** and f*** instead of things like "Bitch slap me with a bedpan" (Beauty Bites).

I get to write things like,
Dragan said, "Most people prefer a little mystery and delicacy."
"Most people," Nixie said pointedly, "prefer to cover up the reality that sex is a lot of fluids and really strange expressions." (Downbeat)
and
Bo pushed me against a too-convenient parked car. I pressed my hips into him. His fingers plunged down into my panties, plundered me to within an inch of climax. I grabbed his head in both hands, insanely pressed his mouth to my pounding pulse.
Hot breath fanned over my skin. Something sharp pressed against my neck. I jerked in reaction. Knocked into the car. 
The car alarm started whooping at a zillion decibels. 
I shrieked. For me, Cupid's quiver was loaded with prank arrows. (Bite My Fire)
Don't get me wrong. Sometimes I just start out scorching and seriously burn up the sheets. But if you like a little sparkle in the hero's eye with your sex, you've come to the right place.