Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Interview With the Vampire Joe--Guest Selena Illyria+Giveaway

Today at Lust With a Laugh we’re graced with the presence of royalty. That’s right, we have the one and only Vampire King, Joe from Bewitching the Vampire. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to visit with us today, Joe. As well as temporarily lifting my restraining order. *bats eyelashes* You don’t mind if I conduct this interview while sitting on your lap in this Fredrick’s of Hollywood baby doll nightie, right?

Joe: Jodi, *looks around* what we had in the past is well, in the past I’m very happy with Bridget right now. Um, what are you doing with those handcuffs?

Jodi: Oh stop being so suspicious. They’re bracelets. *kicks the duct tape out of sight* Maybe you could give our readers a little intro? How long have you been a vampire king, and what does your title entail?

Joe: Well, that would be telling but for you and your readers I’ll just say since Prohibition and leave it at that.  The title entails me to power, territory and money and access to cool weapons like the--Um, Jodi do these handcuffs have to be on me for the entire interview? I promise you that I won’t hurt you.

Jodi: Not even if I ask nicely? *bats my eyelashes again and sighs at Joe’s headshake. Fine, Mr. Party Pooper. So what is the best and worst part of being a king?

Joe: Best part meeting Bridget. Worst is part dealing with ingratiating morons who kiss my ass and expect me to make their boo-boos go away. *snorts* Not gonna happen. You got a problem you deal with it unless you really need my help. Sooo about these handcuffs… the metal is starting to burn my wrists. Are these soaked in holy water maybe?

Jodi: Pffttt! Do I look like I’d have access to holy water? Anywho, you keep bringing up this special lady in your life. Who isn’t me. *pouts* How did you two meet?

Joe: Ah, we get to Bridget. I truly am sorry Jodi. I sent you a bouquet to apologize. Did you get them? We met when I tried to introduce myself and well things didn’t’ go well. There were flowers involved in that too but she was allergic and then she started avoiding me…*rubs the back of his neck.* Um, Jodi, these cuffs really are hurting me. What are you doing with that blindfold? Jodi, you promised me that I’d only be here for an hour or soo…

Jodi: That was my evil doppelganger. I don’t advise ever listening to her. You know, there’s nothing sexier than an alpha vampire who knows exactly how to get what he wants. *covertly pinches some vamp butt* Bridget is one lucky witch. Speaking of witches, Halloween is right around the corner. What is your favorite way to spend the holiday?

Joe: Horror. Movies. I love ‘em even when they’re really shit. This year I plan on spending some quality time with Freddie and Jason with snacks and some pop. Uh, Jodi, the hours almost up. Can I get the key to these cuffs? I have to use the bathroom.

Jodi: You can hold it for another minute. Because it’s time for the lightening round of random questions! *snazzy jazz hands*

Handcuffs or ropes?
Joe: Depends on my mood. You’ve been naughty you get the cuffs. If I’m feeling a bit traditional you get the ropes.
Leather or silk?
Joe:  Both. Silk is a good start and then bring on the leather. Sensory play, LOVE. IT.
Rubber flounder paddles or whips?
Joe *shudders*: Jodi, we talked about the flounder paddles and the rubber shoes AND the clown nose. I’ll go with whips or belts or floggers.
Heavy metal or polka?
Joe *taps his chin*: Well, um, if I tell you, you promise not to tell Bridget? *leans forward stares at Jodi* Okay, sometimes when I’m in the mood and I’m cooking I’ll put on some polka to get festive but metal hands down.
*eyes glaze over as I picture Joe in Lederhosen* Yetis or chupacabras?
Joe: Neither! Yeti’s shed too damn much and are a pain in the ass to tame. They also make horrible guardians since they run off so damn much and the chupacabara well, he’s undependable too. Lead him away with a goat and you’re screwed.
Killer clown or Zombie Ferret?
Joe: Killer Clown. Easier to dispatch than a zombie ferret. Jodi, you haven’t been at the spell books again have you? We talked about this. Do I need to send Bridget to do an intervention?
Jodi? JODI! Let me out of these cuffs. Jodi, my skin is burning! I’m feeling woozy. Jodi don’t you dare leave me alone like this. JODI! 

Y’all never mind Joe while I go put the Riunite on ice and iron his Lederhosen. In the meantime, for a shot at winning a digital copy of Halloween Heat and Bewitching the Vampire leave a comment telling us what is your favorite thing about Halloween? Contest is open to all but ends at midnight on Sunday, October 5th. Good luck!

Flushed and Fevered 1: Bewitching the Vampire

A stubborn witch vs a vampire king…who will win on Halloween?

Bridget is a witch who has been given a sweet deal—nab a rogue vampire and score a big payday, but she must deliver him within twenty-four hours. She’ll need help from Joe, the local vampire liege, to find the rogue vampire fast. Joe agrees to give her the information...if she agrees to play a few hands of poker with him. For each hand, she must reveal a bit about herself. And for each hand she wins, he'll answer any question she asks. But Bridget isn’t sure she can keep things objective—not when Joe gives her that seductive grin.

Joe has always had an interest in the little witch. She defies his expectations and surprises at every turn. But despite his natural inclination to help her, he decides to make her work for the information she needs in the most delicious ways. With a little bit of seduction and a little bit of bondage, he tests her resolve to play the game…and tests his own self-control to contain the blood beast inside him. The stakes are sky-high, for both of them. But on Halloween, the most powerful night of the year, which one will be the winner?

“Vampires love to mark what’s theirs. Are you mine, Bridget?” He gazed up her body, then lifted one leg over his shoulder and brought his lips within a hair’s breadth of her damp slit. “Well?” he placed a soft kiss on one side of her sex, then the other side. “Are you?” He blew on the ruddy flesh. Her legs shook and she groaned. “Are you?” he demanded.”

Buy Links:
Etopia Press
Barnes and Noble

Unmask Your Desires, Satiate Your Hungers.

Multi-Published Author, part vampire, part pixie, Selena Illyria was born with a need to write and enable. Her imagination takes her into the paranormal, sci-fi and fantasy genres and all sorts of mischief. When not writing she enjoys catching up on her TBR pile, watching some of her favorite programs and listening to her favorite music as well as teasing people with posts on decadent food and plot bunnies. To connect with you her can either go to: Her Facebook:

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  1. Thanks for interview Joe, Jodi. Um, when will you be returning him? Evenfall's vamps are getting pretty restless.

    1. What? I sent him back an hour ago. I swear! *stuffs gag in Joe's mouth*