|photo credit: Edgar Barany via photopin cc|
Anyway, we've iterated through this conversation several times over the years and keep adding refinements. Here's what we've learned. I'm not saying these are pearls of wisdom but they are my best approximation at this time :)
- Couples must have that first blush of attraction. The heart beating faster, the desire to be with the other person. For hubby and me, before dating, it was getting off work near the same time and sometimes...more often than not...finding each other on the freeway going home.
- Couples must have and enjoy bodily, skin-to-skin contact. This isn't just sex. This is hugs, massage, everything. I go for a couple weeks during the summer where my body swells and I can't stand touching anything. We still manage to hug or touch elbows. If you have any other suggestions, I'm open to hearing them. Frankly, without skin-to-skin I get squirrelly.
- Couples must go to bed together. This one's harder. My husband snores. I only deep-sleep the hour after he gets up in the morning. So I stay awake an hour after he's down. But we're in bed at the same time. Does that count? Also, I know couples who don't share a bed but they're fine. What about you?
- Couples must not go to bed on an argument. This one's harder yet. Sometimes we haven't even realized there's a problem until weeks later. Sometimes we just fight because we're pissed at things or folks outside the marriage but the spouse is safer to yell at. --Which has its own problems so we don't do that much anymore. (Besides, we're both blackbelts. Fights in our house could get, um, problematic. So we don't ever get physical.)
- Couples must enjoy being with each other. This is going to be controversial, but I don't think couples need to share interests, although my husband and I do, to an almost alarming degree. Lol. But I think you can work as a couple if you like to read and he likes to tie fishing lures as long as you both like to do it better in the same room.
- Couples must get past the first blush of attraction. In order to keep a partnership going, you have to commit, not just to the partner, but to the relationship itself. So there's something worth fighting for even if you're angry at your partner. Which brings me to...
- Couples must be partners. Respected equals. If you disdain your spouse that's a problem.
For long-lasting companionship (plus weird faces and messy sheets), you need to mesh at several levels, not just first blush.
More Read-a-Romance here!
Nixie's lost her mojo!
A Nixie and Julian Story.
Nixie Emerson, punk rock musician and first-time mom-to-be, has a stalker. Her band Guns and Polkas has gone national after their big stage debut, but the price of fame is the stalker trying to scare her into leaving the band.
Her husband, master vampire Julian, whisks Nixie away to the Wisconsin north woods--where they meet the stalker on the pier of their cabin and he again threatens Nixie.
Julian punches him out and the couple walks away thinking the problem is over. But when the next evening the stalker is found dead, they find out the trouble is only starting.
Warning: contains a cranky pregnant lady trying to control her swearing, a master vampire appeasing his wife with food and creative sex, murder, mayhem and several arguments over what to name the baby.
I have not one but TWO new releases! Plus a Goodreads giveaway here.
Beauty Bites PRINT releases tomorrow! Check out my Goodreads giveaway.
Beauty is skin deep…but the beast goes all the way.
When top Minneapolis ad man Ric Holiday is asked to design a campaign for a quaint little town, his first reaction is absolutely not. Meiers Corners is too near Chicago, home of the vampire who turned him as an orphaned boy.
Then the city sends an angel-faced med student with a body made for sin to plead their case. Synnove Byornsson is the ray of sunshine Ric hasn’t felt since he was human.
Armed with determination and a micro miniskirt, Synnove is prepared to crash Holiday’s penthouse cocktail party—and to dislike him on sight. But Mr. All-Style-No-Substance turns out to have a deadly smile, a barely restrained, feral strength, and piercing blue eyes that look at her—not at her cleavage.
Unfortunately Synnove has competition in the form of a sly temptress with a counterproposal. For the first time in her life, Synnove must cash in her genetic lottery ticket and fire back with some sizzle of her own—or her beloved Meiers Corners could become the new Sin City.
Warning: Contains a doctor with a bod for sin, an ad exec with a chip on his shoulder, sarcasm, sex, and a cabin full of annoying friends. Secrets are revealed. One heart-stopping, horrific moment leads to the ultimate of happily-ever-afters.
**Guilty Pleasures A True Gem; Blackraven's Reviews Recommended Read, Harlie's Book Reviews Recommended Read; RT Reviews 4-Star review