Monday, June 30, 2014

Wanting a Big One in the Fruit and Veg Aisle--Guest Charlie Cochrane

Humour’s a serious business. What has one person in hysterics leaves someone else cold, so authors take a risk when they employ it. And, like a jellyfish, once you start to dissect humour, it falls apart leaving you with goo.

There are rules to writing humour, apparently. Odd numbers are funnier than even; three items in a list are funnier than two; names with two or three syllables and hard sounds are more likely to raise a titter than single syllable ones. So J Peasemold Gruntfuttock wins on all counts! Weresloths are more amusing than werewolves (I hope they are anyway, seeing as I once wrote a short story about them) and were-echidnas would be funnier still, given the male reproductive anatomy of the species.

I digress...

I do a fair number of author events, from being mistress of ceremonies at conferences to sitting on author panels at literary festivals, and the ‘punters’ love a bit of humour, especially if it’s saucy. Best to avoid overt smut, I find, but some nice double entendres always go with a bang, if you’ll excuse the expression. You’ve never seen an audience get so hysterical as when my pal Elin quoted this bit of a book, “I never saw two men do more with one-and-twopence worth of butter in my whole life than they did.”

Now, smutty minds, the next bit of the story (‘Three Men in a Boat’ by Jerome K Jerome) reads,  “After George had got it off his slipper, they tried to put it in the kettle.  It wouldn’t go in, and what was in wouldn’t come out.  They did scrape it out at last, and put it down on a chair, and Harris sat on it, and it stuck to him, and they went looking for it all over the room.” It’s amusing, but I bet that wasn’t what you were thinking, and it certainly wasn’t what the audience thought. Nor, when another author read from a work in progress, in which two men were talking over a garden fence and one said, “I bet you know all about cocks,” were the audience thinking about the chickens in the garden!

As an author, I’ve always got my ear out for a bit of dialogue I can use in my stories, especially if there is a double meaning to it. There is a downside to this, namely keeping a straight face, which becomes increasingly difficult when you’ve used a similar phrase in a saucy context in one of your stories. I love Waitrose fruit and veg aisle, with all the overheard discussions about whether people want a big one, if something’s a bit too bent to be of use, or how many you get to the pound (let alone any mention of juicy melons). Scene of many a fit of the giggles, especially when I can’t resist picking up a cucumber and asking whoever I’m with whether we should poke it through the vicar’s door and shout, “The Martians have landed!”

I suspect that one day somebody will take umbrage and lump me one with said cucumber. See – humour’s a serious (and dangerous) business.

As Charlie Cochrane couldn’t be trusted to do any of her jobs of choice—like managing a rugby team—she writes. Her favourite genre is gay fiction, predominantly historical romances/mysteries.
Charlie’s Cambridge Fellows Series, set in Edwardian England, was instrumental in her being named Author of the Year 2009 by the review site Speak Its Name. She’s a member of the Romantic Novelists’ Association, Mystery People, and International Thriller Writers Inc., with titles published by Carina, Samhain, Bold Strokes Books, MLR, and Riptide.

To sign up for her newsletter, email her at, or catch her at:

Horns and Haloes
m/m contemporary

What do you do when finding a new boyfriend is like conducting a job interview?

It's Jamie's idea of torture - a training course about selection and interviewing and on February the fourteenth! Everybody's going to be full of romance and he'll be playing gooseberry as usual. When Jamie finds himself sitting next to the gorgeous Alex, who seems to hate the day as much as Jamie does, will he turn out to be the ideal candidate for the vacant position of boyfriend?

Monday, June 23, 2014

With a Little Help from our BFFs --Guest Vivi Andrews!

Vivi Andrews writes with a sparkle I adore and her romance is spicy hot. Her stories have won awards (Golden Heart, RT Top Picks) and include the best-selling Serengeti Shifters series. Please welcome Vivi!
Thank you so much for having me here today, Mary!  I am beyond grateful for having writing buddies like you ladies (rockstar goddesses that you are) shoulder to shoulder with me in the writing trenches.  Ya gotta have a buddy system – whether you’re looking for love or writing about paranormal beasties on their quest for a mate. :)
My besties and I have gotten one another through our share of romantic drama and heartache, so when I started my new shape-shifter series, who else should be right at the heart of it but a pair of BFFs?  Patch and Lila couldn’t be more different.  Lila is frilly and feminine and a pleaser to her core—always focused on making sure everyone around her is happy—while Patch is a loner with a darker sense of humor and an intense longing for privacy in a nosy pride of shape-shifters.  But they both love and need one another.  Especially when their lives are in romantic upheaval. 
Who is the first person Lila calls when her arranged marriage is scheduled?  Patch.  Who does Patch tell when she finds herself in a lip lock with a big strong lion?  Lila.  Sometimes it feels like a kiss isn’t real until you tell your best friend.  Though Lila—the more open of the two—surprised me by keeping her developing forbidden relationship close to the vest, not even telling Patch.  Who knew my heroine could keep a secret?
What about you?  Do you have a BFF to gush to and guide you through romantic land mines?  Are you more a Patch or a Lila?  Do you like linked books about besties?  Which is your favorite?
Thanks again to my friends for letting me crash Lust With A Laugh today.  Here’s a little snippet of Patch and Lila, my dynamic duo from Jaguar’s Kiss (and Taming the Lion – coming this September!!!).  
*   *   *

“You don’t have to marry him, you know.”
If it had been anyone else, Lila would have deflected, turning the conversation back to light topics, but this was Patch.
“I don’t have to. But I will.” She sighed and dropped her empty into the bucket, taking Patch’s as well and handing out the next round. “Do you think that makes me a coward? Because I’m always doing the easy thing, trying to make everyone else happy?”
“Is that always the easy thing?”
It wasn’t. Trust Patch to know that. “I don’t please people because I’m scared to be myself.”
Patch looked at her, the gold of her eyes gleaming a little in the darkness. “You aren’t a coward, Lila. Where’s that coming from?”
Santiago. “It’s nothing. Just something someone said.”
“Well, someone is an ass. It takes a brave woman to sign on to be the Alpha’s mate.”
Lila took another swig of beer. It was darker than she liked, the taste sharper than the fruity ales she preferred, but tonight she liked the bite. She didn’t feel brave. She didn’t know what she felt. Not how a bride was supposed to feel, that was for sure. “I don’t know why I’m not more excited. I get to plan a wedding. And force you to wear a dress loaded with ruffles and flounces.”
Patch ignored her attempt to goad her with bridesmaid dress hell. “You don’t love him.”
“I don’t see how that matters. My parents don’t love each other. It’s never been a problem for them.”
“You aren’t your mother.”
“No. More’s the pity.”
A white fence appeared out of the darkness beside them. The elk enclosure. They’d come farther than she thought.
“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
No, Patch was her staunchest ally. She would never say what Lila always thought the pride elders were thinking. That Lila didn’t have her mother’s strength. That she didn’t have her poise and intellect and leadership ability. That Lila wasn’t Alpha’s mate material at all. That she was just a girly pleaser who could play the role when it was easy but would buckle under the first real threat.
“I just meant that you’ve always wanted to be in love,” Patch explained. “Ever since we were kids.”
She had. It was almost embarrassing to admit, since she’d known since birth that no fairy tale prince was going to sweep her off her feet. She had a role to play and falling in love wasn’t part of it. “Maybe I’ll fall in love with Roman. He’s very…” She couldn’t think of anything. He was handsome. He was smart. He was strong and powerful. He was everything a lion should be. “He’s a great man.”
He just never looked at her like she was even remotely special. He looked at her like a duty. She supposed there was affection there, but no interest. No passion. No heat. He didn’t look at her like…
Like Santiago looks at me.
*   *   *

To get what he wants, he’ll have to rattle her cage...

Lila Fallon, the Lone Pine Pride Alpha’s only daughter, has been betrothed since childhood to marry her father’s chosen successor. The match is designed to maintain peace by shoring up any cracks in pride solidarity.

She’s always known she would do her duty—she just never expected to meet a man who would tempt her to throw it all away.

As a black panther, Santiago Flores couldn’t be a less suitable mate for the Alpha’s purebred lioness daughter. But that doesn’t change the fact that for every one of the five years he’s been with the Lone Pine Pride, he’s been head-over-heels in love with her. And when the Alpha announces that Lila’s indefinite engagement is about to end in a very definite marriage, Santiago is through holding his peace.

From their very first kiss, Santiago rattles Lila’s neatly ordered world. But can a lioness who’s always lived to please everyone else risk everything to please herself?

Warning: This book contains tempting lone-wolf jaguars, lionesses who long for fairy tale endings, arranged marriages, tangled emotions and a pride full of trouble.

Vivi Andrews is an award-winning paranormal romance novelist with a travel addiction. Born and raised in Alaska, she currently lives in Manhattan when she isn’t bouncing around the globe. Whether at home or on the road, she’s always at work on her next happily-ever-after. For more about her books or the exploits of a nomadic author, please visit her website at, or find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Hart Clan Hybrids GIVEAWAY!

In just a few days Book #2 in the Hart Clan Hybrid Series, Love's a Witch, will be unleashed on the unsuspecting public.

I am eternally grateful to those people who helped me along the way, and pulled me by my hair at times to get this book published.

Mary and Craig are much the same way. They were dragged kicking and screaming into each other's arms, but the whole time, they knew there was nowhere else they could ever end up than together.

Because this is book #2 I will be giving away TWO e-books to celebrate!

I will randomly choose from two comments posted below. The winners will have a choice between either of the ebooks in my Hart Clan Hybrids series.

Comment from now until Monday June 23rd at Midnight EST. I will draw the winner using, and announce the winner in the comments section of this post.

Choose from...

June 24th 2014 (Mary and Craig)


October 2013 (Amber and Jake)

I am one of those people who firmly believe in "love at first sight".  Hubby barged into my life and I realized immediately that I could never live without him. That's where my inspiration for the mating pheromones came from.

So tell you believe in "love at first sight"? Or "lust at first sight"? Or do you think true love grows over time? Or do you just wait to find that one perfect person to take a bite out of?

Let's talk love as I wait impatiently for Tuesday!


Saturday, June 21, 2014

Exclusive Excerpt from Love's a Witch

In the first book of the Hart Clan Hybrids series (A Love Worth Biting For), we only hear from Amber. She is a whirlwind force, and if you've read her book, you know she would never let anyone else talk.

In book two, Love's a Witch, we get the chance to hear from both our heroine, Mary, and our hero, Craig. I have been having fun working with the male point of view. So for this excerpt lets hear from our werewolf as he is struggling to wrap his brain around what he signed up for when he declared his loyalty to a pair of hybrids.

Love's a Witch (Releases June 24th, 2014)

Jake turned to look around the doorway and peek in the window. His matemark stared at me. The guy was old-fashioned to a fault, but forgoing tradition and standard practice, he seemed happy to wear his mating on his neck like a damn female. He gave up everything for his mate. No longer with his Family, no longer in a stable home, and despite his sister taking on the Protector role for Matheo Meyers, he still had a horde of vampires that wanted his skull on a stick.

“You are the last one I want to roll around on the ground with. Just because you have a matemark doesn’t make you enough of a chick for me to enjoy that.”

Those silver eyes took careful stock of me. “Why do you do this?”

“Do what?” I guzzled some more of the cinnamon liquor. That bottle was nearing the end as well.

“Why do you belittle my mating, just because it does not follow your view of how the world should be?”

“It’s weird.” I finished that eloquent argument with a belch.

“That is a coward’s way of dismissing something he refuses to learn about or understand.”

I think the guy just called me racist. I drank more and finished the second bottle. All this talk was killing what little buzz I worked so hard for. Freaking werewolf metabolism burned through enough alcohol to kill a normal man. This was annoying.

“I just want something to make sense for a few minutes, Jake. I don’t deny anyone their happiness. And trust me, with how thin the walls have been at the last couple of hotels, I, and everyone else on the same floor, are very aware of how happy you and Amber are.” I picked up the third bottle of booze, still in its bag, and stood. Seemed I wasn’t getting out of this conversation, and talking would keep me from drinking fast enough to shut out the world. Drinking this now would be a waste.

With Jake in front we walked along the alley behind the row of brick stores. The dumpsters behind the employee entrances smelled like dead animals, spoiled food, and the air hung thick with nicotine from frequent smoke breaks.

“You are a member of this Clan because you chose to be here. Sometimes with how much you protest I wonder if you would be happier returning to the Paulson Pack.” Jake looked over his shoulder and I felt our connection waver. He would release me if I wanted to go, just like Alpha Paulson had. I wasn’t a prisoner. I wanted to be here. What Amber and Jake were creating with this Clan was important, and they needed me to keep them out of the poor house. I needed to feel useful, and I felt valuable with the Clan.

“I don’t want to leave. I just need some down time. Every time I think I have a handle on how this Clan works, every time I think I have a handle on our mission, something comes plowing out of left field.”

“Perhaps not left field, but Mary Fields is the reason for your disruption.” Jake said the words to the air in front of him as he kept walking.

I glared angry holes in the man’s back. “I can control myself, Jake. I understand she needs to be protected. Amber won’t exactly let me forget I didn’t keep my promise to keep her away from the fight that night.”

Jake stopped in his tracks. He turned and gripped my shoulders—his eyes flashed as his wolf pressed forward. “You should never apologize for saving the life of my mate. Amber may be the most stubborn woman in all of eternity, but she is my mate and the woman I love. No matter what she says, or what vulgarity might come from her mouth, know that deep down she is grateful for her life. I, even more so.”

“Don’t go getting all mushy, Hart. I get it. And…thanks.”

“I still find myself unable to stop smiling at sharing a Clan name with my mate.”

“You are such a girl.”

He socked me in the gut. Any buzz was long gone at that point. Mixing a vampire and a werewolf resulted in some serious power behind a punch.

“You should show respect. Just because you are in a mood does not give you the right to insult me.” Then he bent down over me and let his eyes flash like a wicked grey strobe light. I closed my lids to prevent from being dazzled. His chuckle chafed.

“Now who looks to be the female?”

Dammit. Being the Beta wasn’t easy. My male leader could dazzle me if he wanted to, my female leader was crazy, and although I believed in them both, neither one seemed above putting me in my place. I opened one eye and chanced a look up. Just like I had come to expect, Jake was there holding out his hand to help me up.

Pre-Order your copy at ....

Friday, June 20, 2014

Love's a Witch...Running from the Red Aura.

I have always been fascinated by supernatural powers being housed inside ordinary humans.

Mary Fields is the heroine of the latest Hart Clan Hybrid novel, "Love's a Witch".

Mary has no idea who she is, but she knows without a doubt that she should stand by her best friend, Amber. Since she found out Amber is a werewolf/vampire hybrid in the middle of a violent world she never knew existed, Mary has had a bit harder time standing by her bestie.

To top it off she is seeing colors. No, Mary isn't high. She can see auras. Turns out she was drawn into the supernatural world for a reason. She's a witch.

Growing up, Mary thought she was crazy, but really she just had the ability to see things other people didn't. Mary first spots a red billowing aura around her best friend Amber, and Amber's mate, Jake.

After a whirlwind education about this supernatural reality, Mary is trapped in a van running for her life with the sexy guy she loved to tease while he stocked the library shelves. When she starts to see the red trickle into the aura of Craig Hart, Beta of the Hart Clan, Mary can't turn her attention away fast enough.

We all know what happens when we try and ignore love, don't we? Yup. It jumps up and bites you when you're not looking. Or in this case, after you wipe brain matter from your clothes. Have no idea what I'm talking about?

Read the latest story in the Hart Clan Hybrid series, and let Craig and Mary explain it for me.

Have you ever tried to ignore your heart? Ever get smacked upside the head by love?

Damn, I sure was bitch-slapped by fate when I met my hubby. Tell me your story while we wait for June 24th together. And don't forget to pre-order Love's a Witch. Right now it's 30% off at Samhain Publishing through release week. So buy your copy early and get a deal!

I'll be posting an exclusive excerpt only for Lust With a Laugh readers tomorrow. Then on Sunday, I will be doing a giveaway for an e-copy of my shiny new release. Make sure you come back and chat with me!


I love that we got the red aura on the cover!

Pre-Order your copy at ....

Monday, June 16, 2014

S.L. Carpenter : NEW Lusty Linguist

Look, there are all kinds of sexy pictures all around the room.

I was invited over here to play and share some info about myself for anyone that doesn’t know who I am.

Oh look, there is a ménage picture hanging over the fireplace, ummmm, that looks a little anatomically incorrect. That or not all men are created equal. He must get light headed when aroused.

Ok, who is S.L. Carpenter?

I am a writer, artist, designer and a little bit of everything rolled into one.

Everyone knows me as Scott.

When I started writing I was asked to make a generic pen name because romance writers were leery of male writers. To me, I didn’t care because not many writers were writing erotica/romance with humor in it. Let alone midgets and rubber chickens. I love writing stories about love, sex and people finding themselves through others. Life is that way. I also try to keep things realistic. Not all women are supermodels and not all guys are beefcake, sex stud, muscular, cabana men. Except me.
The art side is me getting creative and since I tend to be a little scattered I needed more to occupy my scary brain. So I do cover art, promotional materials, and anything else authors need. I know how easy it is to spend a lot of money to make your writing dream come true. But I like to be fair and help out. Big fan of word of mouth.

Other than that I am just an average guy. I was limited to my words so I wouldn’t ramble on like a madman. Roxy and Jodi spent time with me and know I can talk a lot. Especially after a couple drinks. They are bad influences on me, don’t let them fool you.

If you have any questions, ask away.
I appreciated the women in this group asking me to join them. Not often a guy gets the opportunity to be surrounded by a group of hot women.

Take care,

S.L. Carpenter


Want to read more from S.L. Carpenter? Check out...

Monday, June 9, 2014

Excuse me, sir, but there's a Pegasus humping a unicorn on your back...

Have you ever had moments where you’re lounging in your La-Z-Boy recliner and quaffing a refreshing glass of Riunite on ice, and suddenly think to yourself how much more complete your life would be if you had a tattoo of Hulk Hogan wrestling a Sasquatch? Yeah, me neither. >.> In my latest release, Naughty Girls Do, the hero owns a tattoo parlor, so I thought it’d be fun to waste time gather important research materials by Googling the interwebs for some of the *ahem* creative designs folks have come up with for inking their skin.

In no particular order, I give you my top 8 discoveries. You’re welcome.

1)    Tried by a jury of hotdogs, and found guilty of being delicious. They threw the book at him, along with several packages of mustard.

2)    Speaking of Judging...

3)    Does Rainbow Brite know what her pets have been up to? O_O

4)    Abraham Cyborg Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

5)    The Girafro

6)    Spocktapus

7)    Have you seen this cat? He’s a gentleman and a scholar, and enjoys wearing top hats.

8)    And because this list wouldn’t be complete without the requisite Darth Vader and Winnie the Pooh tat...

Now it’s your turn! Do you have or would you ever consider getting a tattoo? If so, what would it be? Leave your answer in the comments and you’ll be entered to win a digital copy of Naughty Girls Do. Contest is open to all, but closes at Midnight on Wednesday, June 11th. Good luck!

                                               Available from Amazon  B&N  Itunes  ARe

Lexie Winters is on a mission—to lose her good girl image and tempt resident bad boy, Ash Bodry, into her bed. Tired of being treated like his kid sister, it’s past time for her to play dirty. She has her work cut out for her though when it comes to the sinfully sexy yet incredibly frustrating man.

As far as Ash is concerned, Lexie is strictly off limits. Not only are they friends, her dad just happens to be the sheriff, and years ago the man steered Ash away from a life of crime. No way is he repaying that favor by giving into his wicked fantasies of Lexie. But when the little vixen strolls into his tattoo parlor and requests a very naughty piercing, Ash’s honorable intentions are tested to their limits.

Now that Lexie’s hammered the first chink in Ash’s defenses, and he’s sweating bullets, there’s no chance in hell she’s settling for his hands off policy. Even if it means some flirty strip tease action and late night skinny dipping to convince him that this newfound naughty girl will do whatever it takes to get her man.

Break out the fireworks and get ready to kick off your summer with this HOT new collection of stories. Naughty Girls Do is part of the Red Hot and BOOM multi-author series (stands alone for reading enjoyment)

Monday, June 2, 2014

Boy meets girl. Girl becomes werewolf. Girl's claws scratch paint of boy's Charger. Wait, what?

photo credit: Duchess Flux via photopin cc
A writer who shares my Adult Swim sense of humor sent me this link to's 5 Plot Lines Erotic Novels Desperately Need to Adopt. It takes the recent expansion in erotic romance and not just thinks out of the box but explodes it and stomps on the pieces. If you're not easily offended, there are some great lines.

Naturally, it started me thinking of new ways to combine hackneyed romance memes and make them fresh. Or at least make them funny.

Why is the Big Bad wolf always Red's nemesis? Why can't they be lovers? Wouldn't that be a great twist to an old favorite? (Or Big Bad and Snow White, ala Bill Willingham's Fables :) )

Maybe the story's vampires and zombies. They could debate on who's deader. Or shifters talking about the best way to deal with shedding.

Speaking of shifers--why can't shifters be housecats? Or cute little doggies with pink bows?

Actually, they can :) My big-bad-alpha-wolf-becomes-tiny-terrier story, once titled Alphas Don't Wear Bows and now Heart of the Wolf, has gotten a green light and is scheduled for early 2015. As squirmy-hot as I can make it, it will also be my first paranormal romance all in third person, so I'll be looking for feedback! Here's an unofficial blurb.

Heart of the Wolf (Pull of the Moon, Book 1)
Copyright © 2014 Mary Hughes All rights reserved.

Witch princess, alpha wolf shifter, meddling magical aunt. What could possibly go wrong?

Shifters and witches? Might as well marry a fork and a light socket. So when witch princess Sophia Blue investigates her aunt's disappearance and meets alpha wolf shifter Noah Blackwood, their instant attraction annoys them both.

But Noah needs Sophia. He's been hit with a hex gone horribly wrong--he's a rat terrier by day. Worse, pack malcontents are trying to kill him. Only Sophia can lift the hex, but she's sealed away her magic after a sly warlock abused her trust.

Sophia's stuck. Aunt Linda is missing and Noah is Sophia's only hope of finding her. But the instant hot attraction between them scares her because witch/shifter matings are taboo. And if the Witches Council finds out, it will mean her death.