Monday, April 21, 2014

The Lusty Linguists Do NOLA: Roxy's Tips for Fun Times at Romantic Times

I am in the middle of the mad dash to get everything ready for the Romantic Times Convention. Meaning I am figuring out how to fit half a week’s worth of clothes, costumes, swag, and band-aids (Blisters, y’all. Be ready for them) in a small suitcase.

I am checking shipping costs and weighing the reliability of the post office versus actually getting my things where they need to go. Check out two of the buttons you can pick up from my swag bag!

And I am looking at my schedule and wondering when I am going to fit that sleep stuff in there.

This will be my third visit to RT, and my fourth con. The difference this time is that I am going in full-on work mode. I have events with Samhain darn near every night, and a few friends from the interwebs that I finally get to harass in person.

So I thought I would share some of my tips for conference season. (First the actual informative things.)

           1.      Leave the purse behind. I have a wristlet that I will be bringing with me. This can go in an actual purse or briefcase if you have to look nice, or it can be used on its own when you don’t want to carry the bags. It can also be tossed in an event tote bag. Sersioulsy, the tote bags breed at these things. You will leave with twenty.

      2.    Carry a pen or sharpie with you at all times.  You will run into people you want to meet in the most random places. If you want that autograph you need to be ready. And although most authors, myself included, would be flattered as hell and probably kiss you inappropriately if you ask for our autograph, there are times that you should keep your pen capped. Don’t ask while they are in the bathroom or in the middle of dessert. Or any other compromising position you may encounter.  You wouldn't want them to interrupt a chocolategasm of yours.
      3.   Be flexible. (Not that kind ya pervs) The best memories I had at these cons involved spontaneous moments. Panels are great and you should check out your favorite authors whenever possible, but if someone you admire wants to go grab a drink at the bar don’t pass it up. You will regret it if you do.

Now. Those are the basic tips. Here are the ones if you really want to have a good time.

      1.    Bring fun jammies that you won’t be embarrassed to be seen in. Late night is the real fun at these cons. You can sleep when you’re dead, but after midnight it is much more acceptable to be seen in comfy pants and slippers. Make sure you can work it.

      2.    Work on your alcohol tolerance. Last con I made the horrible mistake of dieting before I went. I was sloppy after just one cocktail. Make sure you can handle a drink or five. Booze flows like water at these things. If you don’t drink, find someone’s hair to hold. It will be a bonding experience for you.

      3.    Do bicep curls, or latch onto a cover model with huge arms. You will get swag. You will get epic boatloads of swag. It will be heavy. It will give you a cramp. (Especially since you are dehydrated from all the alcohol you drank the night before.) Practice carrying small children around for twelve hours at a time. If you can do that, you are ready.

      4.    Buy one of those dildo-looking cellphone charger things. When you really need to snap that picture of your roommate humping a lamp post you don’t want to run out of juice.

So those are my tips.  There are tons more, but you can find a million blogs on how to pack a suitcase or how to clean your hotel room, so as not to get herpes from your remote control. (But seriously don’t touch that thing without rubber gloves)

Jodi and I will be together at the Samhain Publishing Saints and Sinners Party representing the Lusty Linguists. Come see us, or just look for this bag...

…and my purple hair. I am harassing asking some of my friends for goodies to give away. I should have various pins, magnets, sexy covers to use as bookmarks, and other things to hand out.  Feel free to stop me and ask what’s in my goodie bag. Less than a month until NOLA!



  1. Can I ask what's in your goodie bag? *lecherous eyebrow waggle*

    All fantastic tips! But you forgot one crucially important one. Don't forget the bail money. Or if you're tight on cash, make sure you have at least one friend who makes a convincing fake jail bitch.

  2. Hopefully you will have some sexy things to put in my goodie bag. *waggles brows back* I'll let you touch it at the meeting on Wednesday. ;p

    And of COURSE you need bail money. I didn't realize this needed to be a tip! hee hee

  3. Thank you for the great tips. I've been to plenty of cons, but it is always helpful to have reminders...and yes, I need one of those chargers! lol.

    1. I bought one immediately after RT last year. I was constantly plugging in. I tweet way too much at these things. Just don't let that sucker dangle between your legs while charging or you may get some funny looks. ;p