Monday, October 17, 2016

Roxy's #CheapDate with Arbor Mist

Tonight’s cheap date is with Arbor Mist Moscato Mango Strawberry.

This wine has lots of names. Again…we have a twist off cap. I will say, this trip down cheap date lane has made my opening of wine bottles infinitely easier. Do all cheap wines have screw on caps? This could be a feature I could get behind.

The cap has a little peel off strip. Think pack of gum type situation. Grab the little tab and the wrapper comes off. Corked wines need to get behind this technology. Because I can’t tell you how many times I have stabbed myself trying to get the tin foil stuff off the top with a knife.

Yes. I know a knife is not a proper cutting tool. This is why I am reviewing CHEAP wines. (Classy fucking lady, right here. And yes. That is a partially completed wall behind me. New house woes.)

Let’s look at the label! Because wow. This one actually lists the nutrition facts. Are wines doing that now? I have never seen that before! And after looking at the sugar content on this…I never want to see it again. (19g of sugar per 8oz. YIKES!)

This also has “High Fructose Corn Syrup” listed as an ingredient behind the wine. Hold up. The first ingredient is “Moscato wine”. Then there’s a whole list of other things. Maybe that’s why this one is only 6% alcohol.

This is going to be weak.

Sniff time!

Whoa. This smells straight up like candy. I can’t tell what kind of candy. I make hubby smell it too. I can’t figure out where I’ve smelled this before but I have definitely smelled this smell.

Me: Doesn’t this smell like candy? I can’t figure out what kind, but it definitely smells like candy.

Hubby: Do you consider wine candy?

Me: Stop it. It smells like candy! What kind do you think it smells like? I can’t place it.

Hubby: I think you’re mistaking wine for candy. Do you need some chocolate?

I hit him. But now I want chocolate too. Better finish this up so I can sample some of the “Halloween” candy I’ve bought to be prepared.

I still can’t figure out what it smells like. It’s like hearing a song and being completely unable to place the name of it even though you can sing the whole damn verse.

Fruit rollups? Gummies? Maybe those peach rings I stacked on my fingers as a kid? NO! I think I’ve got it. Does anyone remember that scent that was all over the place in the 90’s? It was super sweet and we had it in lip balm, in markers, and even that scented slime? THAT’S THE SMELL!

Okay. I totally have to drink this, because I always wanted to eat those things but I was too chicken.


This wine has almost as many bubbles as a champagne but without the foam head. It’s damn near clear. Barely any color at all. It smells like the end of a fruity bath bomb in the glass. Still fruity but slightly off.


Whoa. To say this is sweet is an understatement. To say this is wine is an overstatement. This tastes like straight up sugar syrup. It’s even fairly thick. I can feel it in the back of my throat. I think my throat just got slimed.

This was not an easy drink. (Remembering the sugar content, that’s probably a good thing.)

Let’s put ice in it! I heard from a lot of people that I should have put ice in the last one. This sucker could use some dilution.

It foamed up like a soda when I put the ice in. Maybe that’s why I’m having a hard time with this one. I cut out full-sugar sodas a long time ago and they are all way too sweet for me now. Maybe if you drink soda on the regular this won’t taste so sweet to you.

But I gotta tell you, I’m damn near gagging.

With the ice it’s not as bad, but I don’t feel like I’m drinking wine. It tastes like flavored water with a lot of sugar in it. Like someone tried to stretch the Koolaid a little too far.

The flavor doesn’t match the scent. This one might be fun to put in a sherbet punch if you’re going for a dessert type thing. It just isn’t what I’m looking for when I pop the top on a bottle of wine.

I pass the glass to hubby. Who drinks full sugar soda and dislikes wine.

Me: Here. Try this. Does it taste like wine?

Hubby: No. It tastes pretty good.

Me: *Laughing* Of course you like it.

Hubby: It’s not bad at all.

Then hubby steals another drink and heads down the stairs.


I wouldn’t buy this again. But Hubby might.

One Thumbs Down, and a Non-Wine Drinker’s thumbs up. You make your own call on this one. But I’m going back to Riunite

So do you drink Arbor Mist? It was definitely not for me. What wine should I try next?


To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at

Monday, October 3, 2016

I’m Just a Big Cat

The internet is a source of amazing information. Apparently, according to one study (, my son’s cats think I’m just another big (and slightly stupid) cat.

I believe this. It would explain why they cuddle and take the pets sometimes and not others. Why they steal my chair. And why they lay on papers...specifically, bills and manuscripts. They’re saying “Life’s too short to work all the time. Come play with me!”

Although, with all respect to the researcher, there's another explanation. 

Cats think they're human! I have pictures to prove it.
Carpet Layer Cats: “Nap break!”

Editor Cat: “I’m sorry, these thirty pages have to go.”

Fashion Cat: “Tie one more thing on me, and you’ll see how good my pedicure is.”

Princess Cat: “Bring me my tuna!”

What about you? Do your cats think they’re human, or do they think you’re a cat?

Monday, September 19, 2016

Roxy's #CheapDate with Riunite Lambrusco

Tonight’s wine is Riunite. (Ree You Nee Tee? I think that's how it's pronounced. This is why I read rather than talking to people. Too many ways to pronounce things.) 

I noticed Riunite had a lot of social media on their bottle so I figured I would check them out in case I liked it so I could tag them. Or avoid tagging them if I hated it. LOL.

Legit, THIS is what comes up when you input the twitter address on the back of the bottle.

Something tells me they didn’t spend much cash on their marketing budget.

At least it looks like their INSTAGRAM is okay.

Screw on cap. Good for people who may have already pre-partied a bit. Or those of us who are re-modeling our house and have absolutely no upper body strength left after painting four DAMN ROOMS.  I fall into the later category. I abhor painting. And I’m not good at it.

This wine is 8 percent alcohol. I think the last one I tried was a little less. At least this stands a chance of getting me a little warm and toasty even if it’s bad.

**Sober Roxy here. The previous wine actually had more alcohol in it, but tasted like it didn't. Maybe reds just hit me harder for some reason? Or I forgot to eat before this review. Either way, the previous review actually had more alcohol but tasted like it didn't. Interesting....Back to slightly buzzed Roxy**

The label says Riunite is a “Soft, Lively, Red Wine”. Soft…hmmm. We may be in for more flavored water.

I think I remember ordering this wine when I was at an Olive Garden with my mom. It was one of the first times I was out to eat after I turned 21, and had NO idea what to order. I think they had this labeled as their house wine. Pretty sure even back then it was 4 or 5 bucks a glass. Little did I know I could have had a whole bottle for that price.


Yes, I sniffed the bottle. It has a little punch to the smell. Which is good. This won’t be water wine. Pretty sharp taste in the back of my sinuses. Not quite "medicine injected with a needle sharp"…more like "hit in the head with a cough drop" sharp. One of those sweet cough drops that don’t really do anything. Basically, it's got something in it that makes me think of those Luden's Cherry drops I used to pretend to have a sore throat to get.

As I poured the wine a few bubbles formed along the sides of the glass. Nice deep red color. The smell I got from sniffing the bottle is pretty much gone though, now that it’s in the glass. Of course that could be because I stuffed my schnoz in the mouth of a bottle and inhaled alcohol, effectively killing off some of my cells that smell things, but we won’t go there.

At this point in the process Hubby walks by and shakes his head. He's not scolding me for drinking wine. (drinking wine is kind of my thing) But that I didn’t try the Boone’s Farm yet. That’s the $3 bright pink bottle. (I'll be asking which booze to try on Twitter for future reviews. Follow me @RoxyMews) 

I ask him why he cares what I'm drinking. He tells me that Boone's will be funnier. I’m now slightly scared of the Boone’s Farm. Why will it be funnier? And more importantly why is my husband amused by my suffering?

This calls for drinking wine.


I DEFINITELY had this in college. I can almost smell the steak house restaurants and not quite Italian restaurants that I frequented during that time. (Back when I had money because I was borrowing student loans rather than paying them off.)

It’s almost carbonated. I can feel the bubbles against my tongue. Not unpleasant, but definitely not as smooth as I usually like. This is a sweet wine, but it’s not skimpy on the flavor. It tastes like deep red berries that are pulled just a little early so they have a nice bite to them.

I like this! Woo Hoo!

I better pour some more in my glass just to make sure. Yup. Really like this one.

This I would buy again. And this comes in a big momma bottle too. If you and your wino friends are looking for something to split, you can get a big bottle and only drink half to make it sound better the next day when you say you only had a half a bottle.

I should make sure I still like this. You know…for science. *pours more in my glass*

This is when I realize I should have eaten first. Off to scrounge for left-overs. But seriously, this is a pretty cheap wine, especially if you buy it on sale, in a big jug, or as part of Kroger’s 15% off of 6 bottles deal.


I'd buy this one again. This has a sweet taste, went down easy, and has some flavor to it. This was an easy wine that most of us who enjoy a sweet red wine will tolerate/enjoy. It barely hit the #cheapdate limit at $6 for the bottle, but it's cheaper per glass if you buy the big momma bottle. 

This is a wine for the power drinker.

So...have you had this one? Do you like sweet reds? Most importantly, which wine should I try next?


To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at

Monday, September 5, 2016

When Meet Cutes Go Bad

photo credit: Monta tanto, tanto monta via photopin (license)
I wrote a story about a matchmaker, and she paired two people who were perfect for each other.

The end.

Okay, nobody would pay for that story. So I put in a few obstacles, one of which was, the first client was convinced the matchmaker was a con, and so rejected every match she suggested. Including His Perfect Match.

Yay! But now I was faced with my matchmaker having to bring two bickering clients together.

Did I mention this is a romantic comedy? So I had to find funny ways for her to bring her clients together.

How about invite one to dinner and "accidentally" invite the other too? Yup, nobody'd see that coming. Not from a mile away. Or even outer space. Uh huh.

So in the middle of the night a brilliant idea came to me, as brilliant ideas are wont to do. I scribbled it down on the Post-it pad I keep by the bed for such brilliant middle-of-the-night notions. Waking the next morning excited, I read my wild scribble: "Porn movie setup."
Scantily-clad woman sashays to door. Sings, "Who is it?"
"Pizza delivery, ma'am."
Throws open door, revealing cute guy with closed box over groin. "Here's your pizza!" Pops box lid to foot-long hotdog ringed by hot mozz.
 At this point, I decided to put the story away for another day. Or year, the way my schedule is going, lol.

Read a story that came together well instead! Mind Mates now available.

When a powerful wizard prince comes out of hiding to save his sister, he is forced to team with a pretty shifter—one with ugly, dangerous powers of her own. As vengeful enemies close in, a forbidden attraction flaming between them, the two race to find a mysterious key.

Kindle | Nook | Smashwords | All Romance Ebooks | iTunes | Google Play | Kobo | Kindle UK

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Flip Flop Wine: #CHEAPDATE Review

Who is ready for another #cheapdate review? *waits patiently for the crowds to stop cheering* ;)

I would have posted this last night, but honestly, I worked all day and cleaned for quite a while after that. So, I figured I'd be a little more apt to be nice in the morning. I over estimated myself. LOL.

My local Kroger has a really decent selection of wines, and some days they have a wine expert to help you with pairing selections. I ate left over pizza last night, so I figured, going with a #cheapdate wine would be perfect.

I have a good stash of wines to work through (mainly because if you buy 6 or more bottles at Kroger, they give you a 15% discount.) Moral of this large quantities of alcohol to get the most for your money.

Disclaimer: My opinions are that of a mildly uncultured individual and are not meant to be taken seriously. I am not a professional reviewer, which will become obvious in a paragraph or two.

OMG. The lid was adorable.
Tonight's wine is FlipFlop Wines Left Coast Riesling. I bought it because I was wearing flip flops, and I like Riesling. My wine selection reasoning is infallible. 
It was also on sale for $4.99. So I tossed that bad boy in my cart.

Great twist off top. Not usually a sign of high quality, but twisted off easy. Which is always good when going for a cheap wine. Also means you don’t have to have a corkscrew. A definite money saver if you don’t own one.  
Smell from the bottle…super super light. I stuck my nose in the top and got a tiny hint of fruit, but that’s it.

Poured in a glass, it looks like water. And yes, I know it’s not a wine glass. I haven’t found that box yet. Or put up my wine glass rack. It’s been a busy month, okay?!?!

Still not much of a smell when I have it in the glass. Which is a definite improvement over the medicine smell of the last disaster. But this is a Riesling.

Can you really fuck up a Riesling? (Takes a minute to realize I said the same thing to myself about the Sangria…)

Coats the glass evenly, has a nice drag down the side. No weird bubbles or pitting. It still looks a little like water.  Time for the first taste!

Wine drinking face.

First taste…also tastes a little like water. Water that makes the back of your throat a smidge warm. And water that they threw a few pieces of fruit in to diffuse before pouring it. And sugar. This is really sweet.

Is there any alcohol in this?!?! Huh. Not much. 11%. I'm realizing here, that bargain wine might not be a bargain if you don't taste it.
Hubby asked me how it was. So I had him taste it. I asked if it tasted like water to him. He said it tasted like wine. Hubby is not allowed to help review any more.

I tried to push the issue.

Me: Doesn't it taste a little watery to you?

Hubby: It's not as strong as some.

Me: So it's not just me, it does taste watered down?

Hubby: I like it better, because I don't like wine.

Hubby is REALLY not allowed to help review anymore.

I’m a quarter of a bottle in. Okay. This doesn’t suck. It’s definitely not going down the drain, and I will keep it in the wine fridge because it's not bad enough to waste. I probably wouldn't buy it again, but it would be decent wine to make your non-wino friends drink with you if they needed convincing. It might also be a good wine to bring non-wine drinkers over to our side of the liquor aisle.
In conclusion. It's okay. Not bad. Not strong. Might be good to cook with and let the flavors concentrate. If you dig fruit infused water, this is for you.

Have any other wines I should try for my next #cheapdate? Do you have a spouse who doesn't understand the gloriousness of wine? Do you like this wine, or are you wrong like hubby? ;)


To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at